Clumsy And The Stoic
by Lanny-Sama
Summary: Clumsy Hanatarou gets himself into heaps of trouble and punishment when he drops a load of paperwork in Byakuya's favorite pond. Byakuya finds himself falling for the boy. Will he be able to save Hana from a life of hurt or will he end up crushing him ?
1. Chapter 1

**I have felt like writing a fanfiction for these two for ages ! Please keep in mind that this is my first attempt at writing something like this. There will also be rape-lemon in one of the next chapters (Chap 3 or 4 I guess.) I tried my best when writing this fanfic, and I hope you enjoy this story as much as I enjoyed writing it !**

**Disclaimer; if I owned Bleach, I wouldn't even be able to write in English. **

Hanatarou's POV

The stack of papers in his arms was threatening to slip away for the millionth time, and again Hanatarou quickly put them down to rearrange them. Why did the captains need so much paper anyway ? He sighed and put the last papers into place. He carefully scooped him up and began walking forwards slowly. Last time he had to deliver some papers, he had tripped and thrown the papers into a pond. As punishment he had to copy all the papers he'd and clean the pond. His hand still hurt from writing, and his back was still aching. Not forgetting his clothes. They'd been ruined after the cleaning session.

He was finally getting closer to his destination. Maybe this time he would make it without trouble ! He hoped that they would wait with bullying him until he had delivered the papers. Being late meant punishment, and the captain who he had to deliver the papers to was very strict. A shudder went down his spine, causing two papers to fall off the stack. As he put down the stack to pick them up his thoughts continued.

If Kenpachi would pay attention to the weaker shinigami, he'd be the number one scariest captain. Kurotsuchi-taicho would just stay in his laboratory and ignore anyone who he encountered, so that wasn't a problem either. Gin and Aizen had been creepy too, but now they weren't around anymore to harm him. The woman captains mostly ignored him or scolded him for his clumsiness. But Kuchiki-taicho…. That man was strong, but he did not ignore the weaker shinigami, and it unnerved Hanatarou to no end.

Those eyes, those cold grey eyes… Whenever he made eye contact he felt as if he was on a battlefield, facing his enemy. On top of the fact that he was awfully strong, he was also a noble, and that made everything worse. Hanatarou was used to looks of disgust, despise and sometimes pity, but the look the noble sent his way made him want to run away and hide until Kuchiki-taicho was as far away as possible. That gaze was as if it was hypnotizing him, whenever he looked in those eyes, he couldn't avert his gaze. Why didn't the captain just ignore him like everyone else ? Why didn't he yell at him and scold him ? He could handle that, he knew how to handle it. But that look…

Hanatarou stepped through the gate of the 6th squad and made his way towards the captains quarters. He tiptoed through the barracks, hoping that he'd make it to the captains office unseen. To his relief, he didn't encounter anyone, and he picked up his pace. Bad idea. As he walked around a corner, he bumped roughly into someone. Well, Hanatarou assumed it was a someone, but it felt like he ran against a wall ! Hanatarou let out a wail and made a pathetic attempt to save the paperwork, but it was of no avail. The papers landed in the pond next to the captains quarters, and Hanatarou couldn't do anything but watch them sink to the bottom, frightening the koi fish.

"Oh no Oh no oh no nonononono !!!" It was of no use, but he crawled into the pond, ignoring the slight pain in his ankle, and started to collect the bunches of sloppy paper. Hanatarou dropped to his knees and cursed himself. Why did he have to be so clumsy ? Suddenly a voice interrupted him. "Tch. You ruined my pond." All his hope faded like ice in a flame. Kuchiki Byakuya. 6th division captain and owner of the dirty and ruined pond.

He started shivering. He had been expecting a beating from the beginning, that was routine, but a captain beating him up ? That would be his death !! He knew that the 6th division captain loved his pond almost as much as his zanpaktou and Hanatarou clearly remembered the victim of Senbonzakura that had been brought in just a few weeks ago. And that had only been because someone had fallen into the pond. He felt his breathing hitching. He was in the pond too …. And he had probably poisoned all the fish with the ink and the paper….. Shit….

There was nothing he could do. Kuchiki-taicho was known to have one of the fastest Shunpo of Soul Society, and Hanatarou doubted he could've run away in any case. The silence was also scaring him, the lack of emotion on the man's face only frightened him more. Any moment, any moment and he'd be dead. In an attempt to save his life he started stuttering and shivering, and he was sure he could feel tears forming in his eyes. "P-P-pl-pleas-please… Do-do-don't…." He swallowed for a moment and tried to get the words out properly. "Please don't k-kill me !!" He bowed his head and planted his palms in the mess of watery paper and mud.

Hanatarou cringed at the angry reiatsu the captain let out, but he was glad. Anger was something he knew. He could handle things he knew. This anger was not the kind of anger that would get him killed. He had learned to read the reiatsu of his attackers to see what he had to prepare for. When their reiatsu fluctuated, a beating would follow, and then they'd be satisfied and leave him alone. When it spiked, it was more serious. With the intent to kill. But when it flowed in that peculiar way… No. He didn't want to think about 'it' right now.

The reiatsu that washed over him was slightly overwhelming, but it was controlled, and Hanatarou could sense he'd get away with a few broken bones. He was so relieved that he almost smiled. Broken bones could be healed, swords stuck through his brains could not.

He waited patiently for a foot or fist to hit him hard in his face or gut. It didn't help to tense up, he had learned that the hard way. He let out a surprised yelp when a hand grabbed his collar and roughly pulled him out of the pond, dragging him over the floor towards the gate.

He didn't struggle, it was better than he had expected anyway. When they approached the fourth division he almost let out a small yelp of joy. No beating, no death, just more chores. He smiled and let out a sigh of relief as they entered the barracks. Safety. The other members might bully him, but at least they did not physically harm him to the point of broken bones. When they entered his captains room he expected to be thrown to the floor like normally, but again Kuchiki-taicho surprised him by pulling him up and setting him on his feet.

"Unohana-taicho, when I asked you to send one of your subordinates to deliver the paperwork, I did not expect him to deliver it in the pond." Hanatarou cringed. Even thought this was better than a beating, he really hated to disappoint his captain. He fell to his knees and bowed. "T-taicho ! I'm so sorry ! I never meant to drop them, I am so sorr-" A soft voice interrupted him. "Hanatarou. Go outside. I will discuss this matter with Kuchiki-taicho." He shivered at the noticeable threat in her voice and scrambled towards the door quickly.

He slammed the door behind him and slid down to the ground. He placed his muddy palm over his ankle and started healing it. Standard procedure. He got his ankles sprained at least twice a week, not counting the sprains from beatings and….other things. He shuddered for a moment and hugged his knees. He was so cold! He'd have to sleep naked today. He had no clothes left to wear except the clothing he wore during sleeping. He sighed. In about a week or so, he'd have earned enough money for some new clothes, if the other members didn't take it away.

He felt disgusted by his weakness. He couldn't even protect the money he earned with hard work ! He couldn't protect anyone ! He couldn't even look Kuchiki Byakuya in the eye…. Suddenly the door behind him opened and sent him face first into the floor. He heard a small crack and felt a small stream of blood trickling down his nose. Kuchiki Byakuya glared at him for a moment, before turning around and leaving without a word. Hanatarou wiped his nose with his sleeve, not bothering to heal it just yet.

His Captain opened the door again and shot him a serious look that made Hanatarou cringe. "Hanatarou. Kuchiki-taicho told me that you have failed to deliver the paperwork, and that you destroyed his favourite koi-pond." She sighed and the serious look faded somewhat. "Hana… I tried to cover for you, but it's impossible to get you out of these kind of problems ! Why can't you stay out of trouble for once ?" She sat down and the serious look returned. "Kuchiki-taicho has asked me for permission to punish you himself."

Hanatarou's breath stuck in his throat. Byakuya Kuchiki. The cold distant and cruel man he had just enraged would be the one to punish him ? The fear of not living through the day returned at full force. "Hanatarou, I have always managed to convince other captains that you were not worth spending your time on, but Kuchiki-taicho is different. I cannot protect you this time. He has requested you at his personal quarters in the 6th devision barracks, tomorrow 6 'o clock.. Be one time." Unohana closed her eyes and returned to her paperwork.

Hanatarou had to force his legs to move. Personal punishment from another squad's captain. That was equal to receiving a death sentence. His knees were a bit wobbly. He had a slight feeling of what would be done to him. He would either receive a beating, accompanied with whips of large cuts by a sword, or.... He tensed without noticing and swallowed back the urge to cry. Rape. _Please don't let it be the second option… _He was already considered a whore by the 11th division, and being fucked by the captain of the 6th division wasn't going to help him to get rid of that image. Hanatarou the slut, the whore, the breathing sex doll.

He never told anyone about it though. He even allowed them to do it now. It hurt less when he didn't struggle. That didn't mean he liked it. He hated it. Despised it. Once or twice, one of his attackers would take pity on him and throw him some money. _"This is enough for 'bout 7 drinks. That should be enough to wash away the taste of semen." _Of course he had thrown the money away. He couldn't take it. He was being treated like a possession. A rent boy. His anger got the best of him and he kicked over a lonely vase, only to be scolded and receiving several hits on his head before being thrown out of the 4th division barracks.

Before the door was slammed behind him, Isane ran out. "Uh, Unohana-taicho forgot to tell you something. You will spend this night at the 6th division barracks. The following days you are only allowed inside of the 4th squad barracks when Kuchiki-taicho has given you an order to come over here.. I-I;m really sorry Hanatarou-kun…" She closed the door, and Hanatarou heard the locks fall in place. He swallowed and got up quickly. He needed to get somewhere safe. He decided a storage room was safe enough. There was no way in hell he would spend the night at the mansion of the 6th division captain ! He would be stuck with the Shinigami from the 6th squad, and even though they were a lot more gentle with him, rape was still rape.

He was glad he had decided to spend his night in the storage room, because it didn't take long before some drunk men swayed around the corner. Hanatarou had bad experiences with drunk men, especially in the night. He hated the night. He hated alcohol. He hated himself for being too weak to protect himself. His own squad members did not take him by force or harm him, but they did grope him occasionally when the captain was away, so he locked himself in his room every night. He hoped he'd wake up on time. If he was late at Kuchiki-taicho's room he could expect even worse punishment.

Of course, luck wasn't on his side, and when he opened his eyes, it was well past 10 'o clock.

Byakuya's POV

This was now officially the worst day ever. It hadn't been too bad in the beginning though. He had been walking around his private quarters, enjoying the sun reflecting of his beautiful pond. It was his favourite. He had designed it together with Hisane. When her name crossed his mind he frowned. Not a day would go by without at least a hundred memories of Hisane. Every flower he looked at, every bite of food he took, it all reminded him of Hisane… He felt annoyed with himself. Hisane wanted him to be happy. She had told him that. He should stop loving her and find someone else who could make him happy in his life. Sadly, that had only strengthened his love for her.

He picked up his pace, letting his mind wander as he tried not to think of Hisane anymore. He was about to turn around the corner when he collided with something soft and warm. He took a hasty step backwards and gripped the handle of his sword, totally taken by surprise. Everywhere were white paper floating in the air, and Byakuya was watching in surprise as the huge cloud of paperwork landed in his pond. He heard a slightly high-pitched yell, and the next thing he saw was a small girl in the pond.

She was desperately trying to grab the wet lumps of paper. _Hisane ? _It wasn't Hisane, he knew that, but this girl… His eyes travelled over the girls body. She was wearing old and baggy shinigami robes that looked at least a few decades old, and her hair was dripping wet. The robed stuck to the small frame, and he inched forward a bit, trying to get a better view of that nicely firm a- _INAPPROPRIATE!!! _He quickly forced his dirty thoughts away and formed his cold mask once again. "Tch. You ruined my pond." He was surprised at how normal he sounded. Had he been that good at hiding his emotions ?

He forgot his thoughts as soon as he saw the girl stiffen and turn around. Again, he was met with an unpleasant surprise. It was a boy. He wanted to bash his head against a wall. All those years numerous woman had been hitting on him, a few even trying to force themselves on him, all failing miserably. So many times he had defied the elder by not marrying the bride they picked for him, and so many times he had pushed away a beautiful woman. And now he bumped into a small weak BOY, and he gets aroused. Yes. Kuchiki Byakuya was aroused. He hadn't felt the need for sex since Hisane's death, but now it seemed as if he had been trying to live without breathing.

It took him a lot of self control to keep his little friend down, and he reminded the small trick Abarai had taught him. _Think of dead kittens, death kittens, guts splattered out on the street… _It worked, but it did not improve his mood. He ignored the boy's weak stuttering plea's for mercy and decided to take the boy to his captain. He would not, EVER give in to this temptation. Not ever.

He grabbed the boys collar and dragged him over the ground. He could've shunpo, but walking while hearing the small squeals of pain behind him was much more satisfying. He barged into the 4th squad and headed for Unohana's room. He was taking pity on the boy and made sure not to hurt him too much. His anger was ebbing away and he scolded himself for acting so irrationally.

When he entered Unohana's room, he set Hanatarou on the ground, making sure the boy didn't fall over. He complained for a bit, and he shot a meaningful look in Unohana's direction. He was grateful for her goo observation as she sent Hanatarou out of her office. He got to the point immediately. "I wish to be the one to punish him." It was out before he could stop himself. _What am I saying ?! I must forget about this boy ! _Those were the same words he had thought when he had met Hisane the first time. He frowned when he realized this. He couldn't trust himself on this matter, but there was no way in hell he would tell someone else.

Unohana gave him a strange look and her expression turned worried. "Ano, Kuchiki-taicho, I do not think he is worthy of spending your time on." Byakuya felt amused. Unohana really cared about her subordinates. Byakuya frowned and spoke again. "Unohana-taicho, I asked for someone to deliver me the paperwork you and I both needed to sign. First of all he arrives too late, and second, I find it in my pond, soaked and polluting my poor fish. On top of that, your subordinate destroyed even more of my pond. And if I am not mistaken, he is the same 7th seat that was suspended two weeks ago, and the same 7th seat that managed to burn down a part of the kuchiki library ?"

Byakuya turned around and took a long breath. He clearly remembered the panic-stricken face of his vice-captain when he told him that his library was on fire. Unohana had refused to let him meet the criminal, but Unohana's face confirmed his suspicion. So it had been the boy. "You cannot protect him from everything Unohana. I know it was him. You know my position as a noble, and you know I will not hesitate to get him a far worse punishment than cleaning up my pond." She threw him a disgusted look. He deserved it.

He was disgusted by himself for using his position as a noble just to take advantage of a young boy. It sounded even worse when he thought about it that way…. And when had he decided he'd take advantage of the boy ?! He scolded himself and closed his eyes. He turned around and only stopped to tell her the last parts of the 'deal'. "Unohana, I want that boy to be present at 6 'o clock tomorrow, and I want him to spend this night in the 6th squad's barracks or outside. You will not allow him inside. This is the first part of the punishment."

Unohana stood up and he felt her reiatsu fluctuating angrily. "Kuchiki Byakuya ! You have no right to command me or my subordinates!" Byakuya sighed, he had hoped he didn't need to do this. "If you want to be the one to punish him so badly, go to Genryusai. I am sure that he will decide which one of us will be the one to punish him." He knew she wouldn't do that. Unohana took pity on her subordinates and gave them light punishments. Sometimes so light they weren't even considered as punishments outside of the 4th squad. When Genryusai would find out Unohana would be forced to either punish all er subordinates mercilessly or give her right to punish her subordinates away.

He had won, and he left the room quietly. He shot a short look in the boy's direction and regretted it immediately. He was still so cute. He was shivering slightly, and his clothes were still sticking to his small and delicate frame. Tears were hanging in the corners of his eyes, and his lips were slightly parted. He was woken from his thoughts by a tightening in his pants and he jerked his head away. As soon as he saw the boy enter Unohana's office he shunpo'd away.

He didn't stop until he was safely in his room. A servant knocked on the door to ask if he needed anything, but Byakuya sent him away. He needed to be alone or he'd tackle the first human being he saw to the ground and fuck him or her. He hadn't felt like this in ages. Would he dare to touch it ? He stared down at the bulge in his pants. It was starting to hurt. How long had it been since he had found release ?

He pulled the kenseikan out of his hair roughly and threw them on the ground, his scarf and haori joined soon afterwards. He lied down on his bed and tried to ignore his hard on, but it proved fruitless. Every time he closed his eyes, he became more aware of how badly he needed to find release.

He groaned and decided there was no shame in pleasing himself after so long. He didn't even bother to pull down his pants as he grabbed his length through his pants. He moved his hand quickly his only goal to reach his orgasm. He closed his eyes and imagined. He used to have wet dreams about Hisane after she'd died, but when he tried to think of her, the boy appeared. Tomorrow he'd be close to the boy. He imagined running his hands all over the delicate skin, tasting it with his tongue as he listened to the sounds of pleasure the boy was emitting.

His breathing became ragged as he moved his hand even faster and gripped the sheets between his fingers. He imagined the shy voice of the boy whispering in his ear, begging him to fuck him. "Ah…" It didn't take him long to reach his orgasm, and he let out a loud gasp before falling back onto his bed. He'd have to put on some new pants tomorrow morning, but at the moment, he was happier than he had been in a long time.

He grabbed his pillow and closed his arms around it. "Sleep well…." He stopped snuggling his pillow and shot up in annoyance.

_What the hell was the boys name ?!_

_**My attempt at Byakuya's POV is pitiful. I know that, but it is a hard POV since only his creator knows his way of thinking. I also tried to live up to the M-rating but I am not sure if did a good job. **_

**Please review, and do not hesitate to tell me what I did wrong !**

**Any suggestions ? I'd Luv ta hear 'm !!**

**~Lanny**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, I've been writing some more lately, so I figured I'd update this story. It's a lot of fun to write it, and I hope you all enjoy reading it !**

**Disclaimer: I do not own. **

Hanatarou's POV

Hanatarou sighed as he sat still in the storage room, trying to decide what he should do. _If I stay here, maybe everyone would forget about me and I can leave…_ Hanatarou sighed and hugged his knees closer to his chest. He still hadn't had the chance to change, and he was afraid that he might become the victim of one of the other shinigami. He'd been raped in the morning and evening. There wasn't much difference, but he still preferred to avoid a dick pushing in his ass while he was trying to do his chores.

He was late, and he wasn't looking forward to his punishment. Kuchiki Byakuya had proved to be a very creepy and cold person, and Hanatarou had seen something in his eyes he had rather not seen; Lust. He recognized the look, as it was mostly followed by a cock in his mouth or ass. He sighed and got up slowly. His zanpaktou was still in his room so he had to be careful. He snuck out of the storage room and walked as silently as possible to the 6th division's headquarters. He noticed a few of the Shinigami throwing him despised looks and walked a bit quicker.

All to soon, he found himself in front of Kuchiki-taicho's room. He lifted his hand to knock on the door, and he took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Instead of a calm voice asking him to enter, the door was pulled open immediately and he was face to chest with a very annoyed Kuchiki. There was no doubt about it. It was Hanatarou's fault. Hanatarou immediately fell to his knees and bowed before Byakuya. "I-I'm terri-terribly sorry for b-being late Kuchiki-taicho ! Please forgive me!" A hand grabbed his shinigami robe and pulled him up, until they were face to face. The cold grey eyes that sent shivers down Hanatarou's spine were piercing him like lightening knives.

"Name." The command surprised him, he had at least expected a scolding, but he was more than happy to get away with his fault. "Ha-Hanatarou Sir !" The man set him down and turned around. Hanatrou followed him after a short moment of hesitation. He soon found himself staring at the man in front of him. He was so graceful.. If only he didn't look like he was going to kill you at the spot, he'd be very….hot. Hanatarou grew a bright red as he scolded himself for such thoughts.

Suddenly, Byakuya stopped and Hanatarou bumped into the man's back, falling flat on his ass with a loud "Ouch !!" Hanatarou rubbed his nose and let out a few curses before he noticed Byakuya glaring at him like he was a dirty spot in his carpet. Hanatarou immediately bowed again, but before he could start his apology, Byakuya grabbed his shinigami robe again and pulled him up to his face. "Hereby I order you not to apologize about meaningless things." He walked up to the pond and set Hanatarou down in the water. "I will be sitting over there, " Byakuya pointed at a room in front of the pond, with the doors and windows wide open, "While you are cleaning and rearranging my entire pond. You will also be in charge of my entire garden including all other ponds for at least a month."

Hanatarou felt his hopes being crushed. This was not a light punishment. Not at all. Byakuya pointed at a small door and tossed him a key. "Equipment is in there. I will be watching you and if I catch you slacking off I will increase your punishment. Dismissed." Byakuya turned around and sat down at his desk, starting to work on his paperwork. Just when Hanatarou was about to get to work, the smooth voice interrupted him again. "Ah yes, Hanatarou, I will be expecting you tonight in my private quarters around 8 o clock. Be on time this time." Hanatarou tensed up completely. The last time he had been in someone's private quarters it had not been a pleasant experience.

He shivered a bit as he started to clean the pond and feed the fish. He didn't want to think about this night. He was wishing he had taken some medication with him, anything would've worked ! Maybe he still had some painkillers… Oh no, he had used them up after that last time three days ago. He wondered if the captain would bother to prepare him. He had experienced several occasions where he had been taken dry, and it had felt worse than being slashed down with a Zanpaktou, and he wasn't even mentioning the dirty feeling that came with it. He still felt like a cheap whore whenever he thought about it…

He wiped his forehead with his hand, but did not dare to stand still any longer. He could feel the grey eyes burning into his back, and he confirmed it when he turned around to get some water for the plants. Kuchiki Byakuya was observing him like he was a precious treasure, and it made Hanatarou cringe in fear. Judging from the cold and lustful look he would not be prepared tonight… Hanatarou shook his head and splashed his face with water. He picked up the equipment and started working even harder than before. He had to get those thoughts out of his mind.

But the grey eyes drilling in his back prevented him from forgetting the fate that awaited him tonight.

Byakuya's POV

Byakuya was annoyed. Very much so. His morning had started of very bad, for his pants were soaked with the results of his erotic dreams and yesterdays action. Not forgetting that he had managed to trip over his haori when walking to his closet. On top of that, the boy was late. Very late. He tried to read some letter from Ukitake, but he couldn't get past the first sentence. He started pacing around the room and he was getting impatient. Finally, after what seemed weeks, a soft knock was heard. He shunpo'd to the door and had to stop himself from yanking it open. He was met by the boy who had been haunting his mind ever since he had laid eyes on him.

He looked at the boy, loving the beautiful eyes and the messy hair, the slightly parted lips as the boy let out small pants of exhaustion and the soft silky skin that stretched all over that delicate frame. He didn't have a lot of time to admire the beauty in front of him, for the boy immediately sank to his knees and started to apologise. Byakuya rolled his eyes slightly, and he ignored the apology that the boy stuttered out. He had no time to stand here listening to the boy's apology. "Name." The boy looked stunned, as if Byakuya had hit him in the face, before he managed to stutter out his name. "Ha-Hanatarou Sir !"

Byakuya turned around slowly. _Hanatarou. So that is his name… Hanatarou… It's a nice name…_ He halted in front of the pond that was contaminated with paperwork, and was slightly surprised when he felt Hanatarou bump into him. "Ouch !!" When Byakuya turned around, he was met with a very good view of Hanatarou's body. He was lying in his back, his legs spread and his shirt slightly opened. Hanatarou let out a few curses before he noticed Byakuya staring at him. _Did he see what I was looking at ? Did he notice ? _"I'm S-So-Sor-" _Appearently not. _This time, Byakuya had enough of the countless apologies and he grabbed Hanatarou, pulling him to so he could look the small boy in the eye. "Hereby I order you not to apologize about meaningless things."

The kid looked absolutely terrified, and Byakuya felt stupid for scaring the boy. Hanatarou didn't seem to possess reaitsu at all, and a captain holding him up by his shirt wasn't going to help at all. He set the boy down in the dirty pond, and told him what he needed to do. It had been his plan to let Hanatarou do the paperwork and clean the pond, but now he wanted the boy to stay. So he piled up all the work he could think of. He was tempted to add "cooking dinner" to the list of chores, but he decided the boy would probably die from so much work, so he gave it a rest and he sat down to finish the large stack of paperwork. Paperwork. That rang a bell.

When Hanatarou turned around to get the equipment, Byakuya spoke up; "Ah yes, Hanatarou, I will be expecting you tonight in my private quarters around 8 o clock. Be on time this time." For a moment, Hanatarou's body tensed up, and his expression turned to a terrified face. Byakuya almost took back what he said, but there was no way he'd be able to finish all this paperwork by himself. He stared at Hanatarou as the boy cleaned the pond. He watched as the robes clung to the small frame again, and he wished that he would get to witness the body without the robes. Without clothes at all, he corrected himself.

He wanted to hold that body close to him, and never let it go. For a small moment, he thought that it was Hisane cleaning the pond, that she was back… But it did not bring up the feelings that he normally felt whenever he thought of Hisane. The pang of longing and sadness was less overwhelming, and when Hanatarou turned around the feeling disappeared and made place for a deep longing once again. Hanatarou was obviously uncomfortable, but Byakuya could not take his eyes of the boy. It was as if he was in one of his nightmares again.

In his nightmares, he would see Hisane, and she would talk to him, hug him, smile at him… But when he looked away or closed his eyes, she was gone, and he was left all alone. He didn't want Hanatarou to disappear like Hisane had. He was sure Hanatarou wouldn't be able to escape his sight, but he couldn't stop the feeling that Hanatarou would disappear whenever he let his eyes wander. A servant asked if he would like some tea, and Byakuya snapped out of his dream-like state. "No thank you." He turned his gaze to his paperwork, but he couldn't help staring at the perfectly shaped body in front of him every once in a while.

The face was the most perfect. Whenever he looked at the boys face, he would feel that old feeling rushing through his veins, the kind that he hadn't felt in ages. He really liked that boy… He was looking forward to 8 'o clock. Then they'd be alone in his private quarters. HE wasn't even sure why he had ordered Hanatarou to join him. Sure there was a lot of paperwork, but he would've been able to handle it, somehow. He just wanted to be close to Hanatarou. Once again he raised his head to look at Hanatarou, just as the boy let out a yelp and fell face-first into the pond. Byakuya sighed at Hanatarou's clumsiness and resisted the urge to invite him inside for a cup of hot tea. _The boy was here for punishment, not for cups of tea with his superior. On the other hand, I want him to like me… _Byakuya frowned and called in the servant.

"Two cups of Jasmin Tea."

Hanatarou's POV

Never had Hanatarou experienced such an awkward atmosphere. It was deadly silent as he sat in front of the stoic captain, holding a cup of Jasmin tea in his hands. He had been very surprised when he had been called out of the pond, and for a moment he'd been afraid that Captain Kuchiki had wanted to take advantage of him a bit sooner than planned. Again, the captain had surprised him by throwing him a blanket and giving him a cup of tea. After the short moment of kindness, the atmosphere had turned heavy and awkward.

The captain stared at him, ignoring his cup of tea completely, and Hanatarou looked at his hands holding the cup. While the silence grew thicker and thicker, Hanatarou got more scared. What if the drink had been spiked ? What if he'd pass out after drinking it, only to wake up strapped down to a bed or something ? He shuddered and set down the cup before him. He stood up and let the blanket slide to the floor. He opened his mouth to apologise for dirtying the blanket, but Byakuya's order was fresh in his memory, and he chose not to apologise. "I-I'll continue now Kuchiki-taicho." Part of him expected the smooth voice to call him back, but he could walk out of the door without any trouble.

He shivered when a breeze blew against his wet skin, and he waded into the water to continue his cleaning. He heard the door being shoved open, and he knew Kuchiki-taicho was staring at him again. Hanatarou kept his gaze to the pond though. It wouldn't take long before it was 8 o clock. His stomach growled and he sighed. He hadn't had breakfast or lunch, and seeing as Kuchiki-taicho wouldn't invite him to dinner, he'd have to eat tomorrow morning.

It was hard to keep his mind in one place. His mind kept wandering to unpleasant experiences from the past. He was just about to lift a big stone out of the pond when Kuchiki-taicho's voice scared the hell out of him. "Hanatarou." Hanatarou let out a yelp and dropped the stone to his feet, which resulted another yelp and a hiss that sounded a lot like an inappropriate word. "Y-yes ? K-kuchiki-taicho ?" He knew what was coming, now he was trapped. No way out. His legs felt a bit wobbly when he thought about what would be settled between them soon. "Follow me." As Hanatarou quietly followed the stoic captain, he grew more and more nervous, and he felt very sick. He wished Kuchiki-taicho would just get it over with.

The tension was killing him. He hated the feeling. All the previous times he'd been raped, it had happened instantly, he didn't even have time to think before someone entered him roughly. He had thought that nothing was as bad as that. He had been wrong. This was worse. He knew it was coming, and all he could do was wait for it. It would still be a surprise of course, but he knew it would happen tonight. "Hanatarou." The smooth voice interrupted his thinking and he looked up quickly. "Why are you walking 10 meters behind me ? With this pace we will never make it to my quarters. Or do I need to carry you ?" Hanatarou tensed and ran after the captain, he wanted to avoid physical contact with this man as much as possible.

Not because he found Kuchiki-taicho appalling, but because of what he would be doing to him very soon. He found Kuchiki-taicho very attractive, but his cold demeanour and stuck up attitude made him a very scary person. He was sure to keep up the pace, even though he secretly wanted the big man to hold him, he did not want any loving gesture from the man that was about to rape him.

Kuchiki-taicho stopped and opened a door. He stepped through it, and Hanatarou was surprised at the sight that greeted him. Kuchiki-taicho had his own office at home ? _He wants to take me in his office ?! _But that possibility faded when Kuchiki-taicho spoke. "You dropped two entire stacks of paperwork. Every day from now, you will work here with me and finish the double amount of paperwork. You will not be allowed to quit unless you can't write anymore." Normally Hanatarou would've cringed at the idea of such an order, but he almost laughed out of relief. He wasn't going to be raped ! He would be spared ! He finally relaxed and took a seat. Even though his muscles were sore from cleaning the pond, he didn't even pause during the paperwork. Byakuya gave him the same blanket from before, and Hanatarou sighed happily as he felt his body warming up slightly

He started signing paperwork as fast as he could. He didn't want to anger the Captain in front of him, and it wasn't like he hated paperwork. It was just a tad boring, but he could handle that. Most of his chores were boring, so paperwork wasn't that annoying to him. He was perfectly content.

But after two hours of paperwork, his stomach let out a huge growl, and Hanatarou blushed. Damn ! Why now ?! He felt the urge to apologise once again, but he kept his mouth shut tightly and picked up some other papers. Captain Kuchiki stood up, and Hanatarou cringed a bit. Byakuya opened the door, and called a servant. "I wish to eat dinner in my office today. Hurry up." The servant bowed and Byakuya returned to his seat like nothing happened. Hanatarou's stomach growled again and he hunched over a bit in an attempt to distract himself from the annoying feeling of hunger. He supposed this was part of his punishment too. Captain Kuchiki would enjoy his dinner in front of Hanatarou, and he would have to endure it. Hanatarou grabbed his pen and started signing papers as if his life depended on it.

Suddenly, a sweet smell entered his nose, and Hanatarou felt his mouth filling up with saliva. Food…. And not the cheap kind he normally ate, this was food meant for nobles ! He had stopped signing papers and some drool dripped on the paper. A servant entered the room, holding a huge plate filled with delicious food, and set it in front of Byakuya. Hanatarou had to suppress a moan when he saw the food. He was so damn hungry. He continued to stare at the food, but was soon met with the cold grey eyes of Captain Kuchiki. He bowed his head quickly and wiped the drool from his lips with his torn up sleeve. He grabbed his pen and started to sign them again, trying to ignore the smell that the food spread.

"Hanatarou." Hanatarou bounced and jerked up his head at the unexpected sound of his name. "Sit, and eat." Byakuya put a bit in his mouth and chewed slowly, his eyes fixed on his plate. Hanatarou was stunned. Not only did a captain invite him to eat with him at the same table, but the food was absolutely mouth watering and obviously not meant for the likes of Hanatarou. Nonetheless, his body moved of it's own accord, and before he knew it, he was stuffing his mouth with the delicious food, not noticing the strange look Kuchiki-taicho gave him. It didn't take long before the food was gone, and Hanatarou felt very sleepy. It was already very late, and Hanatarou had never felt this content before. The blanket around him was keeping him warm and fuzzy, his stomach was filled to the brim, and his body was tired from the hard work in the pond. Before he could even register it, he was asleep, his head resting on his tongue-cleaned plate.

Byakuya's POV

Byakuya had to keep himself from staring at Hanatarou as the boy stuffed his mouth with food. The boy had completely forgotten about him it seemed. Byakuya smiled and took another bite before Hanatarou could eat his entire dinner. Byakuya wasn't really hungry, but he had been sipping sake during dinner, to get rid of the annoying feeling in his gut. Soon, the boy was done eating, and Byakuya could see the eyelids of the boy fluttering slightly. He was a sight to behold, Hanatarou was slightly blushing and there was some food on his chin. Byakuya had to resist the urge to wipe it off and steal a small kiss. Even if it was just a peck on the lips, Byakuya needed to kiss the boy.

Hanatarou bent forward, and his head landed on his plate with a small thud. Byakuya sat still for a small moment, and then he stroked Hanatarou's hair out of his face. The boy was asleep. He looked like an angel, and Byakuya leaned in stopping only inched above Hanatarou's lips. He wanted it so badly, he wanted to taste those lips, to see what the boy was like, but he couldn't. Not like this. He grabbed his cup with sake and gulped it down. He really needed some distraction now. Byakuya let out a sigh and wiped the small piece of food from Hanatarou's face. After a small hesitation he put it in his mouth.

He chewed slowly and wondered if the taste that filled his mouth belonged to Hanatarou or the food. He kept chewing until the food had lost it's taste and then swallowed it. He hadn't been hungry, but the taste of the food woke up another kind of hunger. He surpressed it and forced himself to think about something else.

He walked around his desk and wrapped the blanket more tightly around Hanatarou. A ripping sound met his ears, and he pulled away the blanket slightly. He had torn up the boy's Shinigami robe. On a closer look, it was a robe that only Shinigami in training wore, but then painted black. It was old, probably a century or two, and he saw he had only ripped a stitched up tear. The sleeves were too short, and he saw a lot of tears and dirty smudges. Why hadn't the boy taken other clothes with him ?! He sighed and closed his arms around the boy. He walked straight to his bedroom, and laid the young shinigami on his bed. Surprisingly, the boy hadn't woken up yet.

He softly shook the boys shoulder, but the boy was out cold and didn't even stir. Byakuya felt the wet clothes and decided the boy needed a change of clothes right now. He sighed and grabbed the boy's old uniform. He didn't feel like wasting time on these old rags. He sighed and pulled off the rags, they ripped like paper. Now Hanatarou laid before him, half naked. He was more muscled than he seemed, but he was still very frail and slightly feminine. Byakuya shook his head to get rid of the urge to run his hands all over the boy and walked over to his closet to get some of his own shinigami robes. He peeled off the boys pants and lifted the boy in a sitting position. He was very close to Hanatarou now, and he couldn't resist the urge to pull the boy in a hug. The small body against his own was so comforting… He laid the boy down in his bed and got rid of his clothes, only leaving his pants on.

He slipped beneath the covers and wrapped his arms around the boy, enjoying the feeling of the silky soft skin against his own. He found it hard to fall asleep, he wanted to enjoy this precious moment with Hanatarou, for he knew the boy would reject him immediately if he found out that Byakuya had taken interest in him. The boy mumbled something in his sleep, and twisted in his arms uncomfortably. He started wriggling, trying to break free from Byakuya's hug. _Did… Did he wake up ?!_ But that was not the case. Byakuya let out a small moan when Hantarou bucked his hips against the bulge in his boy was having a nightmare. "NO ! NO please ! Stop !! S-someone help help me ! It… hurts… so much… NO no no …. Dirty AAAHH H!!" Hanatarou screamed and flailed his arms around, hitting Byakuya hard in the face before crying out loud and thrashing around even wilder.

Byakuya scowled and restrained the boy. Hanatarou would have some bruises tomorrow, but Byakuya didn't feel like being pummelled by a much weaker Shinigami in the middle of the night. Suddenly, Hanatarou flexed out of his hold and crumpled up to a small ball, letting out pitiful wails and apologies.

Byakuya hesitantly put his arms around the boy in a soft hug, and to his surprise Hanatarou turned around and cried against his chest. He mumbled countless apologies and pleas, but none were directed at Byakuya. The boy was either still asleep or half awake. Byakuya guessed it was the latter, and he waited until the boy's breathing evened out again. He stroked the raven locks softly and whispered comforting words to the shivering body in his arms. He noticed that the boy was sweating, and he used the old rags to wipe away the sweat from the small body. He cuddled with the boy, but then he told himself it had been enough, his little problem was also getting quite painful.. He mentally cursed himself as he removed himself from the bed and put his robe back on.

Before he left he threw a last look in Hanatarou's direction. The boy had calmed down completely now, and was drooling all over his bed. He felt a tiny smile creeping on his lips and he snickered. Drool was not the only thing that was dirtying his bed. Some of the rice in Hanatarou's mouth was making a sticky mess in his bed, not forgetting the sauce that had been put through it. He shook his head and let out a yawn. He was so lucky to have servants.

He closed the door and the window of his room, and walked to the guest rooms. He fell face-first into his bed and let out a frustrated moan at the painful feeling in his pants. He cursed his hormones and sat up. He'd have to take care of this little problem before he could go to sleep, but first… He stood up and called for a servant. The servant raised his eyebrows at Byakuya's appearance, especially the bulge in his pants, but decided to keep his mouth shut tightly. Byakuya couldn't care less about his appearance right now. He just wanted to lie down and sleep forever.

He decided to get a cold shower before going to bed, he wasn't really in the mood to jack off. He sighed as he lied down in the cold and lemon-fresh bed. He wanted to get back into his own bed and wrap his arms around that small delicate body. He sighed. It wasn't a good idea to sleep in one bed with the boy though. He was sure Hanatarou didn't like him at all, he only saw fear reflected in those bright eyes. And he was sure that waking up in a bed next to a half naked man wasn't going to change that.

He called for a servant. "Get my one of my pillows, and make sure my bed is cleaned thoroughly before I go to bed tomorrow." He was pretty desperate, considering he was about to sleep with a pillow because it probably smelled like the boy occupying his bed at the moment. When the servant returned he snatched the pillow out of the guy's hands, and threw himself onto his bed. "Hana….." He looked ridiculous, and Byakuya was sure that if his Grandfather could see this he would turn over in his grave. But Grandfather couldn't see him. Byakuya let out a content sigh as he fell asleep, images of Hanatarou filling his dreams.

_Why am I so obsessed with him anyway….._

_**Tell me, are my chapters too long ? Too short ? Too rushed ? I really want to improve, but I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong ! **_

**Next update in a week !**

**~Lanny**


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNING: This chapter cointains RAPE-lemon. If you do not like. Do not read. This chapter is smaller than usual because the next chapter is going to be humongous. I think I might've gone a bit over the top with this chapter, but it is what I intended from the beginning. I hope you can enjoy this.**

**Disclamer: Me does not own. **

Hanatarou's POV.

_Someone was touching him in places he didn't want them to. Cold hands were travelling over his body, not bothering to be gentle. Laughs and taunts reached his ears as the hands continued to molest his body. __**"Ya stupid whore! Open up yer mouth and take it like a man!" **__Someone pried his mouth open, and he felt strong arms holding him down. More hands appeared, and Hanatarou was now crying. __**"NO ! NO please ! Stop !! S-someone help help me ! It… hurts… so much… NO no no …. Dirty AAAHH H!!" **_

_Crying didn't help, it never did. The dick pounding into him was so painful, so painful… Blood trickling down his legs, pain spreading like fire through his body, but unable to utter his torment with a dick stuffed in his mouth, making him gag. Suddenly, a smooth voice whispered in his ear, and he felt fingers combing through his hair. He didn't want to be touched, but he couldn't help it. The voice and the soft fingers tangled in his hair lured him in and he inched closer to the source of the smooth voice. His nightmare was disappearing, making place for shame._

_Like always, he would see the faces of all the people he cared about, and apologise to them. They would only throw him disgusted looks and say the horrible words that pierced his heart. __**"You Filthy slut !" "Go away you sextoy" **__It didn't make any sense, but that didn't stop him from believing it, and crying about it. _The nightmare disappeared completely, leaving him in a blanket of hot darkness.

Warmth. He felt so warm and fuzzy, but his muscles were sore, and he could hear his back cracking when he moved. Just a few more minutes…. Wait a second… .what time was it ?! Hanatarou shot up from his cosy bed, gasping a bit when his sore muscles screamed in protest. He was in a bed, only his underwear was on him, and clothes were scattered all around the bed. He crawled over to the edge of the mattress and tried too find his old Shinigami robes. He grabbed a shirt from the ground, only to discover that it was not his. There was a small sauce spot on it, and Hanatarou could smell the faint scent of a Sakura tree in blossom. _Oh no… Oh please no… Don't tell me…_

Hanatarou jumped up and tried to open the door. It was locked. Hanatarou was slightly hyperventilating. He didn't remember anything ! What had happened ?! He staggered backwards, tripping over his ripped Shinigami robes and falling on the bed. Something hard and white was on the sheets, and some brown-red smudges were also on the bed. _What…. What the hell is this ?! Oh no…. that dream… I wasn't dreaming ! _Hanatarou felt sick and he hurried to the bathroom. He hunched over the bathtub and puked. He had probably been drugged. No wonder he had felt that sleepy after eating ! He wiped his mouth and waited to see if there was any more waiting to come out. After a while he got up shakily and drank some water. When he looked into the mirror, he saw a bruise on his jaw, and he looked as if he'd been put through a washing machine.

Hanatarou pulled down his underwear and checked for further injuries. Surely enough, there were light bruises on his waist and shoulders. He bent over and checked his legs, feet and his butt. He blushed for a moment and ran his fingers over his entrance. It ached, but it always did. There was nothing sticky located at his entrance, and it had been sore in that spot ever since those three guys from the 11th had decided to have their fun with him. He heard a door opening, and he pulled his boxers up as fast as he could. He ran for the door and slammed his body against it. He was stuck in this place, and he could only try to avoid the inevitable.

The person in the room was humming softly, and he was surprised at the feminine sound. Hanatarou hesitantly pushed the door open and took a look inside. A servant, a maid to be more precise. Hanatarou snuck out of the bathroom, taking a towel with him to cover himself up. The servant hadn't noticed him and so he made a run for the door. He succeeded and knocked over another servant in his crazy dash through the corridor. The air was chilling and Hanatarou was shivering all over. He ran harder, trying to regain some warmth, but just as he was warming up, he tripped over a bucket with cold water. The towel would've been useful had it not been drenched all the way through.

But the cold wasn't Hanatarou's only problem. He was lost. Very much so. Every corridor was the same, and he didn't recognize a thing ! He opened a random door. Empty. He kept running and opening doors, trying to find a way out, but when he bumped onto a room filled with servants he thought it would be better to leave the doors locked. Hanatarou tripped again and fell in the Pond he had just cleaned yesterday. If he hadn't been freezing to the bone, he would've screamed out of joy that he had found a way to orientate himself ! He was muddy, sore and cold, and the towel ripped as he tried to pull it out from the bushes in which it had fallen.

Hanatarou didn't let it get to him and ran for the exit. Soon, he was running to his division. He was desperate. He needed to be in his safe place. He became more nervous with the second. He was nearing the 11th division barracks, in his underwear. That thought made him come to a sudden halt. The 11th and 6th division were on guarding duty today, so it was impossible to avoid them. Hanatarou took a small step back, shivering from the cold stone beneath his bare feet. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Hanatarou turned around. He rather had the captain than a gangbang with 4 or 5 guys having their way with him.

Apparently, fate hated him. After two steps, a rough hand grasped his shoulder and threw him against the wall. "Heh, look what we got here ! It's the little fourth squad whore !" Loud laughter rang in Hanatarou's ears as he tried to get back up on his feet, failing miserably when a foot kicked him in the gut. "Aww, he's so obedient, lying down for us to take 'im !" More voices. 3… No, 4 guys. Hanatarou's vision was blurred and he felt a warm substance trickle over his face. Blood.

A hand tangled itself in his hair and yanked him up roughly. An uninvited tongue pushed its way inside while another pair of hands ripped off his underwear and started to grope his ass. Hanatarou lifted his arms in an attempt to fight back, but someone pulled them roughly behind his back and tied them together, not much later a blindfold was bound tightly around his head. The tongue left his mouth only now, and he was slapped hard across his face. "You make a sound and I'll be sure to rip you apart!" Hanatarou didn't doubt the mans words and kept quiet as the hands bruised and groped his body. The hand in his head pulled harder and his body shoved over the cold and rough floor.

He was thrown down, and something sharp slashed his side. Glass ? The stench of alcohol washed over him, making him even more sick than he already was. He was left alone for a moment, enduring the taunts they threw at him. Suddenly his ass was lifted into the air and a dick started to rub his entrance. Hanatarou laid face first onto the cold stone until a rough hand yanked him up by his hair.

Hanatarou felt tears brimming his eyes again, but he didn't struggle. Last time he struggled he- Something was pushed hard against his cheek, and he knew what they expected him to do. He opened his mouth and the dick was immediately shoved all the way in his throat, almost making Hanatarou puke. The hand in his hear was even rougher now, and someone was playing with his nipples too. The person who had been enjoying himself with Hanatarou's backside decided he'd like to take things a bit further. Hanatarou didn't even have the time to brace himself as the cock ripped him open. He would've screamed, had the dick in his mouth not muffled him completely.

The person behind him shifted his position and Hanatarou felt blood streaming down his legs and he smelt the horrible scent of semen, blood and alcohol all together, not to mention the smell of shit. Another dick entered him swiftly, and Hanatarou let out a cry of pain and another dick joined it shortly afterwards. Someone else was humping him, and Hanatarou felt the head of a dick poking his side with every thrust the man made. "Ahh, yea you like that don't cha, ya dirty slut!" Again someone slapped him, and someone followed the man's example and hit Hanatarou hard on his ass.

Hanatarou tried to block it all out, the hands, the teasing, the pain. But it didn't work. He tried thinking of his captain, but that just reminded him of the fact that she had never even noticed his torment. He tried thinking of his teammates, but that brought back uncomfortable memories of being groped and bullied while trying to finish his chores. Chores. He still had to clean the pond, write paperwork… Somehow, the idea of boring old chores distracted him from the horrible burning in his backside and the dick in his mouth. He still had to get rid of

that one stone in the pond. A grey stone, grey eyes…. Kuchiki Byakuya.

His short moment of distraction didn't take too long though, as the dick in his mouth shot it's sperm down his throat. Hanatarou was forced to swallow, the taste of semen made him want to vomit his organs out. When the weeping dick was pulled out of his mouth, it was swiftly replaced with a new one. This one grabbed his hair and rode his mouth as if he was a horse or something. Hanatarou was almost choking on the length that was pushed deeper down his throat with every thrust.

After what seemed ages, he was left in a pool of his own blood, mixed with semen, shivering from the cold that was now rapidly enclosing his body. He hoped they were done now, his ass was sore, and from experience he knew that it would take at least a whole week until it would feel better. Someone approached him and Hanatarou let out a mental sigh. This guy still had the stamina to fuck him again ? Hanatarou found he couldn't care less. He had already been double fucked, mouth-fucked and humped. One more time wouldn't hurt.

But suddenly, Hanatarou heard the sound of a steel sword being unsheated and Hanatarou tensed as he felt the blade against his throat, cutting the skin beneath slightly. Never before they had put a blade against his throat, and Hanatarou started to utter desperate sobs, pleading for them to stop. The tears that had been slowly dripping from his eyes now formed a river over his cheeks. He didn't want to die, not yet, not like this ! He started thrashing, screaming yelling and pleading, but they only laughed.

One of them stood on his back, and grabbed his hair. Another sword pierced down his leg and Hanatarou screamed again. He was slapped in the face again, but he didn't cease. They kicked him hard in the chest and he could hear the sound of bones cracking beneath his skin. "Fuck you, you stupid bitch !" His head was pulled back even further and the blade was pressed very roughly against his throat and he could feel the blood streaming down his throat. This was it.

He started shivering uncontrollably, and breathing was becoming hard. The loss of blood was making him dizzy, and the fear was overriding his system. The cold steel at his throat was teasingly cutting away the veins that provided his brain with oxygen, and he could feel blood seeping into his lungs. _Just a few more minutes Hanatarou, then it'll be over._

The world turned black.

**Short short SHORT ! I'm really sorry about that, but it had to end here. The next chapter will be out soon and it will be bigger I promise. **

**Tell me what you thought of this thing. Please. It's my first rape-lemon, so I'd like to know how I did.**

**~Lanny**


	4. Chapter 4

**I promised you all that this chapter would be bigger than the last, and I succeeded. (I think I did) I feel a bit unsure of this chapter, not knowing how to continue. I really messed this up. I don't know why but every fanfiction I write starts off good, only to twist around until it breaks to little pieces of crap !**

**I hope you can all enjoy this chapter nonetheless. **

Byakuya's POV

Byakuya's eyes flew open and he jumped out of his bed, almost tripping over a small pile of clothes next to his bed. He managed to catch himself before he hit the ground, but he was highly disorientated and sweaty. "Wha-where…." Byakuya sat on the ground and pinched the bridge of his nose. A nightmare. It used to be a frequent one. After Hisane's death he had been having this nightmare every time he closed his eyes.

The dream was always the same. He would hold Hisane in his arms, and she would rest her small frame against his chest. They would sit there, happy, enjoying each other's presence. But then, Hisane would get lighter, and harder. The trees and flowers around them would wither slowly, leaving only dead black ground. Then he would try to talk with Hisane, but she would never answer. The world around them kept withering until there was nothing left but darkness. Hisane would turn around, apparently leaning in for a kiss, but then her face would come into vision. Rotten flesh hanging from yellow bones, eyes replaced by deep black holes, her clothes ripped and rotting, maggots crawling out of the remains of her dead flesh.

And then he would watch her wither in his hands, seeing the rotten flesh falling in small pieces of her face, landing on his hands and clothes. Her bones would crack, showing what was left of her insides, and at last, she would turn to dust that blinded his eyes when it was blown in his face. That was the moment where he woke up. Tangled up in his bed sheets, servants standing worriedly around his bed and his throat sore from screaming.

The dream had been different today though. But the meaning had been similar. He had been sitting by a pond, watching as Hanatarou walked up to him through the pond. But then, Hanatarou had gotten stuck in the pond, the water getting higher and higher. Byakuya tried to move, but it was as if he was glued to the ground. Not even the muscles in his face would move. He watched as Hanatarou drowned, the water clear enough to witness the struggle of life and death that Hanatarou was experiencing. He watched as the last bubbles of air rose to the surface, and he watched the water becoming eerily still. Then, the water became green and yellow, and the first blue sky now turned a sickly violet, mixed with poison green.

He had watched as Hanatarou sunk deeper and deeper, rotting away as he sunk away in the disgusting water. Some of the rotting flesh had drifted in his direction. Then, the glue that had held him down let go, and Byakuya fell face first into the water, the stench and taste of rotting flesh filling his mouth and nose.

A servant opened the door hesitantly. "Sir ?" Byakuya didn't answer. He stood up and began dressing very slowly. The servant took the hint and closed the door quietly. Byakuya walked over to the mirror and looked at his reflection. His eyes were red, and he could see one single tear track. He wiped it off and began placing the Kenseikan in his hair. He stopped at the second kenseikan and left the third one on his dresser. He pulled an annoyed face at his reflection and ripped the two kenseikan from his hair, not allowing himself more than a small scowl at the pain. He needed to talk to Hanatarou, the boy was probably scared to death at the moment, locked up in a captain's bedroom.

_What was I thinking ? I shouldn't have drunk so much sake ! _He walked towards his bedroom, and almost slipped on a bowl of rice that was scattered all over the floor, right in front of his bedroom. A servant was collecting the remains of a porcelain bowl just a few metres away, only to drop it when Byakuya spoke to him in an angry tone. "What has happened here ?!" The servant bowed immediately and started his explanation. "I-I was ordered to bring breakfast to this room, but as I approached the room, someone violently bumped into me, and I….I dropped it all. I forgot about that bowl of rice, I thought I was already done! I am horribly sorry Kuchiki-sama!!" Byakuya ignored the last part and yanked the door open.

The maid inside of his room let out a high-pitched scream at his forceful entrance. "Was there anyone in this room?!" The maid bowed quickly, stuttering during her explanation. "I-I was in charge of c-cleaning Kuchiki-sama's bedroom today, a-and I just a-assumed that Kuchiki-sama was up early today, a-and I…" The maid trailed off, staring at the floor and stuttering a few more incoherent mumbles. "I locked the door. How did you get inside ? I do not remember giving you a key." The maid looked down again and a slight blush crept on her cheeks. The answer she gave was nothing more than a whisper, but he heard it nonetheless. "I…I made a copy once, and…. I just….I" Byakuya stared at the maid for a moment, before he quickly turned around.

He grabbed the servant outside by his shirt. "What is the name of that maid ?" The servant looked horrified as he uttered a small reply. "She's Maria and-" Byakuya put him down and kept walking. "She is fired. You take care of it." Byakuya forced himself to walk slowly, not quite succeeding. He needed to find Hanatarou ! He called his personal guard. He had never considered them useful, but right now, they were all he needed. "I want you to look for Yamada Hanatarou, do not disappoint me." They nodded and were gone before he could finish saying "Dismissed."

Byakuya closed his eyes and concentrated on the boy's weak reiatsu, but he failed to find it. An unusual amount of low-ranked Shinigami were located just outside of his barracks. The spiritual energy spiked now and then. What could it mean ? Byakuya reminded himself of the fact that he should be looking for Hanatarou. Low-ranked Shinigami were none of his concern. But still, something told him that this was something serious.

He began analyzing the strangely fluctuating reiatsu's. The fluctuating was strangely familiar. It reminded him of….. Sex ? Byakuya's eyes flew open. He pulled a disgusted face. He disliked it when a person had sex with more than one person at a time. He didn't understand at all. Sex was something to take serious, something that could be considered a gift that you should not give to some strangers. Byakuya tried to ignore the reiatsu and focused on finding the weak reiatsu that belonged to Hanatarou.

However, he found it impossible to ignore the fluctuation reiatsu a few streets further, and he decided to put an end to it. He was very annoyed. Hanatarou had left without clothes on, and it was a cold day in Seireitei. Hanatarou also wasn't finished with his chores. There were still huge stacks of paperwork to finish, and the other ponds still needed intensive cleaning. Byakuya Shunpo'd to the source of the many weak reiatsu's. A surprise appearance would probably scare the shit out of them, so he could continue his search for Hanatarou.

A loud scream met his ears, but it didn't sound like a scream of pleasure. Byakuya sped up. This scream was one that uttered fear of death. He turned around a corner, and what he saw tore the stoic mask off his face, and made his hands clench around Senbonzakura's hilt. Hanatarou was lying naked on the cold storage room's floor, in a puddle of his own blood. A sword had pierced his leg to the ground, and it was covered in sperm. A man was standing over Hanatarou, no pants on, and pushing his Zanpaktou against Hanatarou's throat. Three other Shinigami were sitting or standing around, also naked, and most of them covered in blood.

Hanatarou's face was bruised and his cheeks were wet from countless tears that had been dripping from his eyes. He was making choking sounds, his body twitching slightly. A small trial of blood dripped from his mouth and various other cuts on his face and body. The Shinigami holding his sword against Hanatarou's throat had been halfway through the process of slitting Hanatarou's throat when Byakuya had appeared.

In a matter of seconds, Senbonzakura was sticking through the man's abdomen. Byakuya twisted the blade cruelly, feeling satisfied at the horrible scream the man uttered. Warm blood gushed out of the wound and spilled over his hands and his clothes, but Byakuya paid no attention to such trivial matters. Byakuya didn't release Senbonzakura's shikai. They didn't even deserve to be killed by his sword, let alone his sword in shikai ! The man that had been trying to kill Hanatarou was sliced in twice as Byakuya ripped senbonzakura through him, making sure the man would live for at least an hour to experience the pain. The surrounding men didn't even run away, they couldn't move. The second man got a less painful death as Byakuya pierced his chest with a quick motion, before slitting another man's throat.

The remaining two cowered in fear as Byakuya approached them. He had never considered himself to be cruel, but right now, sickening sadistic idea's spun around in his head. They would suffer, they'd wish they'd never been born! Byakuya's rage was extraordinary great, as if all his frustration was coming out in one mere moment. In the back of his head, Byakuya reminded himself that he should keep his Reiatsu in check. Hanatarou would surely be affected if he released his reiatsu to it's maximum.

He pulled one of the guys up until he was face to face. He suppressed the urge to spit in the man's face and he pointed the tip of his sword to the man's mouth, intending to shove it all the way down. He was about to push the sword through the clenched teeth when a startled gasp caught his attention. He spun around and was met with the shocked ace of his Fuku-taicho. Abarai Renji. Byakuya shot him an angry and annoyed look, but he dropped the weeping man to the ground and calmed himself. This had gotten out of hand. He carefully placed his stoic mask back on his face, and faced Renji.

"Abarai. I thought I told you to take care of today's business. What are you doing here ?" Renji frowned and answered. "I was about to train the rookies, but then I sensed that you released your reiatsu to a deadly state. I came here to see if you were in trouble…" Byakuya narrowed his eyes when Renji forgot to add 'taicho' at the end of his sentence. He grabbed senbonzakura and wiped it's blade clean on his haori. "Renji. I want you to take care of this mess." Renji took several steps back before replying. "What ?! You expect me to-" Byakuya shunpo'd in front of Renji and grabbed his shirt. "Yes Renji. I expect you to. No one shall know of this, understand ?"

Byakuya didn't even wait for Renji to confirm his order, and turned to Hanatarou. "Take them to my manor." Renji opened his mouth to protest, but Byakuya cut him off. "Renji. Do as I say." Byakuya threatened his Vice-captain, but he figured Renji wouldn't fall for that. He noticed a few Shinigami in his guard. As he scooped Hantarou up in his arms he gave them his orders. "Clean this mess up and lock those rats in the deepest dungeon you can find. Make sure they'll live but do not call for any medics beside the Kuchiki-medic." They nodded and took off.

Byakuya shunpo'd towards his mansion. His rage was not replaced by fear. What if Hanatarou was dead ? What had he done ? If you thought about it, it was Byakuya's fault that this had happened… He had ripped Hanatarou's clothing, locked him up and kept him in a strange house. Of course Hanatarou would try to escape after waking up in a strange bed, in only his underwear, in a locked room. Byakuya wanted to bash his head against a wall, but instead he tried to increase the speed of his Shunpo. He had to struggle to keep his stoic mask on his face, for it felt as if he could break down any moment.

He entered his mansion and went straight to the Kuchiki's personal medic. It was the first time he was grateful he had hired a personal doctor. He almost kicked the door in when he entered, and the medic made a startled jump and stared at him like he'd seen a ghost. "K-kuchi-Kuchiki taicho ?" Byakuya ignored him and laid Hanatarou carefully on one of the examination tables. He turned to his personal medic and ignored the fearful expression of the man. "You will treat him first, make sure he will survive. As for the others that will come in shortly, make sure you don't waste any equipment on them. Use stuff from the trashcan." The medic awoke from his coma-like state and made a small sound of disapproval.

"Kuchiki-sama, I am sorry but that goes directly at anything I have learned ! I treat everyone the same and-" Byakuya stepped forward and grabbed the man's throat, silently enjoying the shocked gasp of pain that the man uttered. "Listen. I hired you. You follow my orders. If you do not follow my orders you will die together with the ones you are supposed to save. Now GET TO IT !" He angrily threw the man on the ground, blaming his behaviour on his nervousness. He always felt anxious when he was in hospitals, medic rooms or anything like it. They reminded him of the countless hours he had sat in a small seat, waiting for next on Hisane, hoping that she would pull through, that she would survive.

Even now, he felt nauseous just being in the medic's room. He hurried out of the room, trying not to look as if he was scrambling away like a can of gasoline from a fireplace. He shunpo'd to his room, he was in no mood for walks. A servant threw him a scared look as he passed, but he didn't pay attention to it. He entered his room and went straight to his personal bathroom. He felt sick. He never felt this sick. The stench of sex, blood and gore was making him dizzy, and before he knew it, he was hunched over the sink, puking. When he looked up to meet his reflection, he almost slipped on the slippery bathroom floor.

He was covered in blood, his face was unrecognizable, gore splattered on his hair and big knots of blood covering his face. His clothes were smudged with semen, blood and even hair ! He looked as if he had been crawling through a big pile of dead bodies ! At the sight of himself he felt his stomach churning, but nothing came out. He put the shower on, and stepped under the water without stripping himself from his clothes. Something told him that he'd only turn up even more disgusted by the sight of his skin being tainted by blood. As soon as the water hit him, he began ripping his clothes off. He scrubbed his skin. He felt disgusted.

He was covered in the blood of rapists, murderers, sadists. The thought alone made him want to scrub his skin off. His blood was still boiling from pure rage and sadistic thoughts were filling his mind. _You hypocrite. You label them as sadists, when you are having these thoughts yourself. _It didn't bother him though. Never before had someone enraged him to this point. Kurosaki Ichigo maybe, but then it hadn't been about someone whom he loved . _Do I love the boy? I barely know him… _Byakuya stepped out of the shower and dried himself off. Right now, his fear of losing Hanatarou was greater than his rage, and he found himself pacing around in his room.

He sighed and left his room."Clean my bathroom." The servant jumped and ran off quickly with a small "Y-yes K-kuchiki-sama!" Obviously terrified with the fact that Byakuya had spoken to him. Byakuya didn't blame the servant. Just an hour ago he looked like the devil himself, a bloodied sword clenched in his hand, covered in gore and blood… Byakuya sighed and went to the dining room. He had skipped breakfast and he knew he had to eat something. The servants were very quiet, and Byakuya sat in front of his plate, all alone. Normally some servants would stay to keep him company, but they were too frightened now.

Byakuya took a small bite and chewed slowly. He kept chewing, long after it'd lost it's taste, just because he felt like he needed to do something. Suddenly someone knocked on the door, breaking Byakuya's trance. "What." It was more of a statement than a question, but the person behind the door answered nonetheless. "The Kuchiki-medic sent me." Byakuya stopped chewing, staring to the wall in front of him. "What is it now ?" Byakuya swallowed the piece of food in his mouth and put in another piece, not even tasting the sweet flavour.

"Well, he was wondering how his patient got in that condition and-" Byakuya cut him off sharply. "That is none of his concern. How is Hanatarou ?" Byakuya glared at the messenger, who cringed and hurried to answer. "H-he'll pull through, b-but he is currently in a coma, and he might have minor memory-loss, taicho." The Messenger bowed before continuing, but Byakuya was no longer interested. Hanatarou was going to pull through…. He would live. He would live !! " And so that would mean that….. Ano….Kuchiki-taicho ? Ano, Kuchiki-taicho ?!!" Byakuya turned his head, annoyed at the messenger, but careful not to show it. "What is it?"

The messenger bowed and answered. "The Medic told me that his other patients are now stable and locked up in the deepest dungeon. Oh yea, and-" Byakuya sighed and interrupted the annoying messenger. "Dismissed." The servant was out of the room before Byakuya would utter another word.

Hanatarou was safe. He would survive. But that thought was quickly replaced with sadistic idea's and an ache to stab someone through the chest. Byakuya clenched his teeth in an attempt to calm himself. He had been tensed up ever since he had found Hanatarou in that state. His blood was still boiling as he thought about what those bastards had done to Hanatarou. He never imagined something like that was happening in Sereitei ! Byakuya grit his teeth. They would pay. All the emotions that he had kept bottled up inside ever since Hisane left him began bursting through his carefully built up barrier.

Byakuya grabbed his plate and threw it against a wall, satisfied with the loud crash the breaking plate made. He was temped to scream and kick the table over, but he decided to keep his anger in for just a little longer. He left the dining room. He slammed the door behind him, hearing the wood crack. A young servant shook on her legs and almost dropped her plate. He took a cup of tea from the plate and approached the dungeon.

_Time to extinguish some rats._

Hanatarou's POV

When he opened his eyes, he felt blank. His body felt sore and he had a throat-ache. His memory was blank. _What happened ? Where am I ? _He tried to get up, but his muscles didn't obey him, so he only turned around, falling off the bed with a dull thud. It wasn't the fall that hurt, it was the wounds that ripped open at the moment he hit the ground. Suddenly his entire body seemed like it was on fire, and Hanatarou opened his mouth to scream, terrified when the only thing that escaped his mouth was a trial of blood and a choked cough.

His leg felt as if a thousand blades were stabbing into it, and his arms felt as if they'd been though a blender. But the worst part was his ass. He barely felt the blood trickling down his legs, staining the bandages around his leg. The searing pain seemed to break an opening into his memory, and it all came back. Four men, a cold floor, blood, pain, dirty. Hanatarou started hyperventilating, feeling the wound in his throat opening. The blood dribbled down his throat as he cried without a sound, tears mixing with blood and drool as the memories flooded back into his mind. He felt as if he was going crazy !

Suddenly, a pair of arms held him down, and he felt something being shoved into his arm. A few moments later, the pain disappeared and he was laid back on the bed. Hanatarou was still hyperventilating as the other person in the room tried to calm him down. "Calm down !!" He felt another pair of arms joining the ones that were pushing him down on the bed, but he didn't cease. The same voice as before screamed at him, telling him to lie still and allow him to treat him, but Hanatarou didn't stop until another voice spoke "Hanatarou. Breathe." The smooth voice of Kuchiki Byakuya. Hanatarou's breath got stuck in his throat and his vision was getting clearer. As soon as he had calmed down, Hanatarou curled up in a small ball and kept on crying.

The other person in the room approached Hanatarou, but he crept away, his breath immediately hitching again. "Kuchiki-sama, he is suffering from a concussion, he might have some memory loss, and he is not reasonable at the moment, we will have to force him down to be able to treat him." A smooth voice replied. "Let me do it." At the sound of Byakuya's voice, Hanatrou calmed down somewhat, nonetheless he still made a startled jump when Byakuya's hands touched the open wound on his throat. "Hanatarou, you are losing too much blood, let us treat you or I will be forced to knock you unconscious." Hanatarou cringed at the angry tone, but his head felt heavy, and he felt really dizzy, so he gave in, letting the soft hands smear some sort of cream on his wound. The soft voice murmured in his ear, and soon Hanatarou slipped into a deep sleep.

When he woke up again, he was once again in the room of the feared 6th division captain. Hanatarou felt better. His body was still sore, but his wounds hadn't ripped open again, and his vision was clear. He tried to get up, and this time he succeeded, although he got a huge headache as soon as he lifted his head from his pillow. Hanatarou tried to recall what had happened, but nothing came to his mind. Suddenly his mind clicked. He was in the 6th division captain's bedroom, almost naked, with a sore butt slash body. It had happened again. Hanatarou sucked in a shocked breath and rested his head in his hands.

From the way his body was aching, he assumed the captain had been very rough. There were various cuts on his body, and bruises were scattered all over his body. He had been raped. Again. Brutally raped. And by a captain of all people !! He tried to remember what had happened. He remembered eating dinner together, and falling asleep. Then…. Then what ? …. Hanatarou clamped his eyes shut in an attempt to remember. A horrible memory was the result. Hanatarou let out a gasp at the memory of a blade pressed firmly against his throat, his leg pinned to the ground with a sharp object and a searing pain in his ass. He remembered hands, hands everywhere. So much pain!

Hanatarou gasped and grabbed his hair, pulling it hard in an attempt to get rid of the horrible memories. After a small moment he stood up shakily, almost falling when the pain in his legs made him fall over. He steadied himself against the wall and attempted to catch his breath. His leg was burning, and he could see blood seeping into the bandages around his leg. How had that happened ? How long had he been out ? Judging from his injuries it had either happened recently, or frequently. He hoped fervently it wasn't the latter. He took a few wobbly steps to the door, only to trip over his own feet and slump against the door like a ragdoll.

"I need…to get out of here…" He needed to go back to Unohana-taicho. She was kind, she would protect him. In his desperation he ran his nails over the hard wood of the door, crying again as his nails broke off and his fingertips started to bleed. He didn't want it to happen again. It hurt so much ! As he scratched the skin from his fingers, another memory entered his mind. _"Hanatarou. Breathe."_ His breath hitched as the small fragment of his memory confirmed his suspicion. Kuchiki Byakuya, 6th division captain, raped me. Hanatarou curled up against the door, crying silently, not able to produce sounds.

Suddenly the door was pushed open, and it jabbed hard in Hanatarou's side. He let out a gasp, tasting blood on his tongue, and tried to scramble away from the door. "Hanatarou ?" Kuchiki Byakuya. Hanatarou felt the tears streaming faster as he desperately tried to get away from the door, dragging his leg behind him, leaving a smudgy trail over the floor. He tried to scream, but his throat burned and all that came out was a small squeal of pain. He dragged himself over the floor, trying to ignore the pain in his leg, but failing miserably. Suddenly, two very warm arms wrapped around his waist and carefully hoisted him up. Hanatarou tried to struggle, but before he could even lift his arms to try and wriggle free, he was laid down on the bed, a body hanging over him.

It was then that he managed to speak coherent words. It sounded hushed, as if he was whispering through a bad telephone while having a cold. It also sounded desperate, and was filled with quiet sobs. _"P-please, do… don't rape me again. Please." _ Hanatarou knew it was probably useless to beg, but he couldn't help it. He would die if things kept going on like this. Byakuya looked as if he had been slapped in the face with a fish, dumbfounded at Hanatarou's desperate plea. Hanatarou cringed as he saw the look on Byakuya's face. He started shivering. He was afraid of this man, he couldn't read his expression properly. Was it rage ? Sadness ? Disbelief ?

"Hanatarou…" Suddenly Byakuya grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down on the bed. "What are you talking about ?! Huh ?! What are you talking about ?!!" Byakuya looked utterly desperate, his eyes widened in shock, but Hanatarou was too busy screaming. Even though his throat felt as if it was torn apart, he couldn't stop screaming and thrashing as the man above him pushed him down on the bed, forcing himself on him. _"NO NO NO N O NO NOOO NO !!!"_ Hanatarou's screams ceased, and he passed out. Right before his world turned black, he felt like letting out a sigh of relief.

Rape didn't hurt that much when you were unconscious.

Byakuya's POV

When he approached the dungeon, he spotted Renij guarding the door. Byakuya was sure that that was not Renji's intention at all. "Kuchiki." No honorific or tiacho. Obviously, Renji wanted an explanation. Byakuya ignored him and reached for the door behind his vice-captains back, only to be pushed away. "Kuchiki-sama, I am not letting you in here until I know what you will do to them." Byakuya's reiatsu spiked and he pushed Renji against the wall, not noticing the small crunch when he started hissing at his subordinate. "Renji, shut up. Shut up and do as you are told or I will crush you."

He was met by silence, Renji was limp and he had a wound on his head. Byakuya couldn't feel guilty, well, not yet. He let Renji go, and the body fell to the ground with a loud thud. For a moment, Byakuya feared that he might have killed Renji, but a whimper of pain proved him wrong. He left his Vice-captain in the corridor, still boiling with anger, and kicked the prison door open. At the sight of the filthy rapists, Byakuya clenched his teeth, and tried to stop himself from killing them on the spot. "Do you know what you did ?" His voice sounded more controlled than he felt, his head was pounding and his vision was turning a slight color of red.

He released his reiatsu even more, and to his satisfaction, some of them fell down to the ground, panting and shivering. They disgusted him. The didn't even deserve to be called human. Even a hollow was more human !

Some of them were still not properly clothed and only had a pair of ripped pants to cover them from the stone floor. He received no answer from the men, who gave him a slightly panicked look. He grabbed one man's head and smashed it into the wall, hearing a small crack when the mans nose broke. He made sure this one would still be conscious. Torture was worse than death. "No answer ? Do I have to keep hitting and torturing you until you answer huh ?" He grinded the mans face against the rough stone wall, seeing a smudge of blood appearing. "At a second thought, it's more fun to torture you than to get answers."

The man started sobbing and Byakuya turned him around only to kick him hard in the chest. "You had no problems torturing someone else did you ? Then you should have no problems with being tortured !" He kicked again and again, until the shivering man started coughing up blood. He grabbed the man by his arms only to throw him on the ground, feeling disgusted with the idea that this man was supposed to be a death god. He walked into the corridor, ignoring the small pang of guilt when he saw Renji, and grabbed some ropes. He'd make them suffer. When he re-entered the prison, one of the Shinigami had found something that resembled a broken tile, and was trying to use it as a weapon by swinging it at Byakuya's head.

Byakuya almost laughed at the pitiful attempt and broke the shinigami's wrist, making him drop the tile. He turned to the other men and tied their hands behind their backs before turning to the man that had assaulted him. He grabbed the rope and tied it around the mans wrists and throat very tightly. He took in a long teasing breath when he heard the man gasp for air and laughed as he pulled the rope even tighter. One of the other Shinigami started screaming at Byakuya, pushing himself against the wall as if wanting to merge with it. "Y-you are C-CRAZY ! S-s-stop it now ! We- we were ju-just play-playing…" His knees stopped working and the Shinigami fell to the ground, sobbing again. " No no no no please no no no ! S-s-s-spare me!"

Byakuya tied the rope he held to a ring in the ceiling, forcing the roped one to stand on his toes to avoid being choked. Byakuya grasped Senbonzakura and walked up to the sobbing man scrambled away in the corner. He grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled it back roughly, forcing the sobbing and screaming man to look at him. The sobbing was very annoying to Byakuya's opinion, so he slammed the man's face into the wall. "Shut up." The man only cried louder and tried to release himself from Byakuya's grip, shivering uncontrollably and tears streaming over his cheeks.

Byakuya felt more powerful than he had felt in his entire life. He let out every single frustration he had had in his life, the screams sounding like a sweet melody. Somewhere he knew this wasn't right. Kenpachi was probably rubbing off on him. He pushed Senbonzakura in the mans lower abdomen and began to slice the man up from belly to throat. "Like a fish." He muttered softly as the man's guts began to fall out. It wasn't satisfying enough to just watch though. He tightened his grip on the mans head and slammed it again against the wall. And again, and again, and again, until the skull in his hand let out a sickening crunch and the insides spilled out from the eyes.

He dropped the corpse and kicked it in the direction of the only man left unscathed. The man didn't even react when the bloody mess hit his face. He stared off into the distance, his jaw trembling and his hands twitching. Byakuya came to a halt right in front of the man, snapping his fingers in front of his eyes. "Shock." Byakuya felt his loathing for these men increasing. They did something similar didn't they ? They raped a young boy, more than once, they hit him, kicked him, and tried to kill him ! And now this guy just went into shock at the sight of a corpse ?

Byakuya couldn't hold in his anger, and he thrust his hand through the trembling man's eye socket, through the eye and the brain, dropping Senbonzakura to the ground. He grit his teeth as he started kicking the two corpses in front of him. He slashed Senbonzakura through them, not even seeing the mess he was creating while he cut through the defenceless flesh. Byakuya was out of breath when he stopped, the two corpses unrecognizably mangled, nothing more than heaps of flesh and bone. The silence was only broken by Byakuya's ragged breaths and the pained gasps from the man being strangled.

Byakuya's fit of rage was over. He bowed down to retrieve Senbonzakura, and cleaned it's blade on his haori. He walked out of the room, leaving the other man to tiptoe for his life. Once he was outside of the room he felt his knees buckling and he steadied himself against the wall, feeling a tear running over his cheek, leaving a clear trial on his face, that was stained with blood. He shook his head, trying to get rid of his nausea, and composed himself.

He straightened his pose and turned to his Vice-Captain, feeling a bit guilty when he saw the blood dripping from the wounds on Renji's head. He didn't trust his body at the moment, so he called a servant. This time, he found no surprise in the terrified servants that kept their eyes to the ground as if talking to a demon. He swayed down the hall and entered his room, not bothering to clean himself up.

He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

**Call me crazy, but I like writing torture/killing scenes. I feel like I'm not putting in enough details, but I cannot judge that properly. Also, I made a little mistake in this story (not a spelling mistake, I have dozens of those) Can you find it ? If you do find it, I'll write a one-shot for you okay ? **

**I think I should have named the nameless rapists, this way it's a bit unclear who I'm talking about. Or can you prove me wrong ?**

**Next update on Friday (It's a promise)**

**~Lanny**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone ! The promised update ! Please keep in mind that I live in Holland, thus your time might differ a lot from mine.**

**A new POV this time ! And a new writing style ! How ya all like it !**

Byakuya's POV

He woke up to the sound of someone trashing around, throwing over some stuff in the room right next to his. He jumped out of bed, dried up blood cracking on his skin, and ran to the room next to his, tripping over his own feet in his haste. When he entered the room, Hanatarou was thrashing around on the bed, blood spilling from his lips and the wound on his throat. Byakuya tried to ignore the urge to rip the medic off of Hanatarou, and instead joined the man in holding Hanatarou down. Byakuya was panicking, whispering everything that came to his mind to calm the young boy beneath him down.

He barely heard the medic when the man told him about Hanatarou's condition. He was too busy watching the trembling boy crawling into the corner of the room, spluttering more blood with every breath. _"…has a concussion…."_ The medic kept talking while he handed Byakuya a jar filled with a creamy substance that Byakuya recognized as a healing cream for dangerous wounds. He was relieved to see that Hanatarou allowed him to smear cream on the still bleeding wound. But it also scared him. Why wasn't he resisting ? After he was finished he pulled the boy up in his arms and let his emotions go free. For most people, that meant breaking down and screaming so hard the devil himself awoke, but for Byakuya, it was different.

A silent sob shuddered through him, and he struggled to keep his tears in. He heard the medic saying something about new bandages in an hour and then the door closed. Byakuya began whispering in Hanatarou's ear, everything he felt and had felt, every insecurity he had had in his life. The boy did not respond at all, only lying in Byakuya's firm grip like a big soft and battered pillow. After a few moments of silence, Byakuya stood up and went back to his room, refreshing the bloody sheets so that Hanatarou would be able to sleep properly.

As he lied Hanatarou down, he decided it was time for a bath. He looked at Hanatarou's exposed body and felt a stab in his chest. The once so white and beautiful skin was battered and cut, like someone had ripped the skin off of him, only to stick it back on a moment later. He felt his nausea coming back and he hurriedly left the room, going to the big bathroom of his manor. The bath calmed him, but he was still worried. Even though the cream had worked like a charm, Hanatarou was far from healed, not to mention the trouble he was in after brutally murdering four Shinigami from another squad.

He stood under the shower, enjoying the hot water that washed away the blood from his skin. He stepped out relatively quick, wanting to stay with Hanatarou. It was a warm day, and he only put on a pair of boxers and a loose shirt. When he opened the door, it slammed against something, and he heard a gasp, followed by a fit of coughs and the sound of scrambling. Byakuya repressed the urge to slam the door open and slowly pushed it open.

Hanatarou was crying, tears streaming over his cheeks, eyes widened and glazed over from pain. His leg was slightly bent in an odd way despite the heavy bandaging around it, and his wounds left a smudgy trail of blood on his floor and carpet. A pathetic squeal met his ears and he saw Hanatarou coughing up some blood again, seemingly obvious to the fact that he was bleeding to death. Byakuya sped forward and carefully lifted Hanatarou up in his arms. Weak arms were lifted up to push against his chest in an attempt to get free, but Byakuya wouldn't have it, and he lied down Hanatarou quickly, checking for injuries and making sure the boy couldn't harm himself any further.

The boy curled up, shaking and gasping, unconsciously gripping the sheets from the bed trying to cover himself. _"P-please, do… don't rape me again. Please." _Byakuya stiffened and stared at the shivering form beneath him. "Hanatarou…" Suddenly Byakuya grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down on the bed. "What are you talking about ?! Huh ?! What are you talking about ?!!" He couldn't understand this. Why ? Why was Hanatarou this way ? He hadn't hurt the boy ! He hadn't ! Why ? Hadn't he been the one who had saved the boy ? Why couldn't Hanatarou see that ?!

Hanatarou was shaking, eyes staring right through him, moist and widened. Byakuya wrapped his arms firmly around the boy, wishing to comfort him, to help him understand, but Hanatarou started to thrash around, screaming and crying while Byakuya held him down.

"Please… Hanatarou….Stop crying." He had meant to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse whisper. Hanatarou was bleeding again and his cries drowned out his choked whispers. He restrained the boys movement, wanting nothing more than holding him close and showing him how much he loved him. Suddenly, Hanatarou's movements ceased. Byakuya took this opportunity and closed his arms even tighter around the still shivering boy. But after a few moments of whispering and holding, Byakuya began to get worried.

He let got of Hanatarou, a bit startled when Hanatarou slumped into the bed like a ragdoll. His eyes were still somewhat open, but blank. Staring at the ceiling while some late tears made their way down his cheek. The sheets beneath him were covered in blood, and the bandages were soaked.

"Hana …tarou ?" Byakuya grabbed Hanatarou's shoulder and shook it lightly. No reaction. "Hanatarou ?!" Byakuya jumped up and ran to the medic, judging from Hanatarou's injuries it wouldn't be a smart idea to carry him all the way over there. When he arrived he didn't even take the time to explain the situation, he grabbed the medic by his shirt and Shunpo'd back to his room. The medic shot fell to the ground at the arrival, and shot and angry look in Byakuya's direction. "I can't heal him without equipment !" Byakuya was gone before the man could finish his sentence, and grabbed everything he could see, running over a servant in the hall in his haste. As soon as the medic got his equipment, Byakuya was pushed out of the room and told to stay away until further notice.

"I don't know what your definition of the word rest is, Kuchiki-sama, but this is most certainly not what I meant when I said that Hanatarou needed a lot of rest. Now if you'll excuse me, I work better when there isn't a person watching my every move." The medic slammed the door shut in Byakuya's face.

Byakuya paced around in front of the room, his worry increasing with every step he took. Every minute he'd stop pacing, staring at the door for a moment, hoping to see Hanatarou or at least a sign that he would be okay. After an hour he felt as if he was going insane, it was the same when he had been waiting for Hisane when she had been in the fourth squad, fighting her disease. He rubbed his temples, trying to get rid of the headache that was forming in his head.

Suddenly, a black butterfly flew in front of his face, and Byakuya cursed under his breath. A meeting. Just perfect. He stood up and after a short moment of hesitation he shunpo'd to his room to get dressed. He couldn't find his one kenseikan, so he just stuck in the remaining two and quickly put on his haori, only to find it stained with blood. He let out a small sigh and began rummaging through his closet, looking for one of his spare haori. He almost didn't dare to admit that he was happy to have something do distract him, he was on the edge of an emotional breakdown.

Well, in some way, he had already broken down in the emotional part, but that was just rage. Sorrow, guilt, longing and despair were still locked up in his body, waiting to burst out of his skin, ripping him apart in the process. He quickly pulled the haori over his head, feeling one of the kenseikan in his hair shift slightly. He almost choked himself while putting on his scarf and hurried out of the door, forgetting to put on his left sandal. He shunpo'd to the meeting. He had never been this late, he should be at standby at all times !

Right before the door he held still, taking a minute to comb his hair with his fingers and to put the scarf on right. He carefully placed his stoic mask on his face, knowing that he'd need it. Still, strange looks were thrown at him at his appearance, but Byakuya had a feeling these looks weren't all because of his dishevelled looks. It was eerily quiet in the meeting room, and Byakuya half expected Kenpachi to break the silence with a statement like; 'Hey, you're kenseikan's missin'.' Or something like that.

Genryuusai spoke first. "Kuchiki-taicho. Only one day ago, you let your reiatsu go free. Now there are five Shinigami from various squads missing. These five are Ikitaru Makukke, Kuroma Doshi, Lonisu Karu, Rantashi Hemu and Yamada Hanatarou." (1) Byakuya stiffened slightly, and he could feel the tension drifting through the air. Despite of the atmosphere, Genryuusai continued. "Only a few days before this incident, you, Kuchiki-taicho, had requested assistance from Yamada Hanatarou, but he never returned to his squad. We believe that your outburst of Reiatsu had something to do with that." Byakuya was boiling with emotions at the words spoken to him, but he remained cold and distant in his expression.

"Why would you believe so ?" He asked, keeping his expression as normal as possible. He received no answer, but several captains shot him angered looks.

"Byakuya." It was Unohana. Byakuya held his breath for a short moment. She had this aura when she was angry, and she was emitting it right now. "Where is my 7th seat ? He should have returned by now. I need him for paperwork." How would he save himself from this mess ? He gulped before answering, using every technique at lying he knew. Look someone straight in the eye, speak without hesitation, do not fumble with your hands, do not touch your nose, do not look to the left and do not sweat. He took a deep breath before answering.

"I-" Suddenly the door was thrown open. "Unohana-taicho ! Unohana-taicho !" A few medic's ran inside, dragging an unconscious Renji with them. Byakuya stared at his Vice-captain with disbelief. Hadn't he told the damn medic to take tare of him ? He took a few steps forward, wanting to see the damage he had inflicted on his subordinate, but the medic's pushed him away. "He is in critical condition ! He seems to have severe damage to his head and skull, and we could not perform such a dangerous operation without your help ! it was already dangerous enough to bring him over here, but it was the best choice we had!" Unohana was already working, sending her death-smile to the remaining captains in the room as she spoke; "I am sorry, but you all need to leave, Renji-kun is in a critical condition and I will need to perform my healing right away."

Nothing more needed to be said, and the captains hurried outside. The angry mood had somehow lessened, and Byakuya received less strange looks from his fellow captains. HE stared at the door, uncomfortable with what Renji would say when he woke up… That is, IF he woke up. Byakuya gulped loudly and Soifon gave him a look of sympathy. "He will pull through Kuchiki-taicho, I know what this must feel like, but I know he will pull through." This did not make Byakuya feel better, not at all. Instead, the feeling of guilt seemed to grow like a tumour inside of him making him nauseas.

Genryuusai did not seem to min that hi conference room was turning into a hospital, and ordered the captains to wait until the emergency was over before continuing the meeting. Byakuya wanted to go to his mansion to give his personal medic a scolding, but he needed to know if Renji was okay. Now that his fit of rage was over, he felt like an idiot for almost killing his Vice-captain over something that could have been resolved with a conversation. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat down in front of the meeting hall. It didn't take very long for Unohana to come out. "Kuchiki-taicho, do you have any idea how this happened ? Renji is not completely healed yet, but he keeps asking for you."

Byakuya was slightly surprised at this. Renji was asking for him ? He stood up and entered the hall. Renji was lying in the middle of the room, his head being nursed by several medics who were using Kidou to heal him. "He might have some trouble with walking and moving in the beginning, but he will recover completely. He has gotten a very hard hit on his head in a very vulnerable place, he won't be able to fulfil his duties as a Vice-Captain for at least a few months." Byakuya sat down next to Renji and stared at the redhead. Renji opened his eyes and stared at Byakuya. "A-one.. s-eak….sp-eak…al-one….." As if ordered, the medics left the room, and Unohana left shortly after. "I respect my patients wishes, please make sure he does not overexert himself Kuchiki-taicho."

Renji tried to move in a sitting position, but Byakuya pushed him down. "Renji, I am sorry that this has happened, but in order for you to recover, you need to lie down, that is an order." Renji gave him a glare before ceasing his attempts to sit up. "Ku-chiki….taicho." Renji made an annoyed sound and spoke again more clearly this time. "Kuchiki… Taicho… Why did you… those shini…gami ?" Byakuya sighed, but decided he owed Renji an explanation. "They committed a horrible crime. And I could not contain my rage, so I punished them." Renji gave him a strange look, spoke again. "Y-you ? No… control ? B-but….why go so..far ?" Byakuya sighed. How would he explain this ? He had fallen in love with a 7th seat from another squad who had gotten raped and almost murdered, so he killed and tortured the attackers ? That wouldn't do.

"Renji. Could you… trust me ?" This was insane. He was asking Renji to trust him blindly, after almost killing him. "I can't…tell you. I don't even understand myself. Can you… cover for me ?" Byakuya mentally bashed his head against a wall as he spoke. _I treat him like scum, almost kill him when he is only trying to do good, and now I'm asking him to cover for me even though he has no idea what my plans are ? I'm a hypocrite. I always told Renji he was a fool, but I am much more of a fool than he is. _Byakuya kept quiet, hoping for a miracle. And surprisingly enough, it came.

"Kuchiki-taicho. You always h-…had your rea-…reasons for doing thin-…things, and it never turned out to be e-…evil. I will co-…cover for yo-..you." Byakuya was stunned and he stared at his Vice-Captain. Renji looked at him in a very strange way. He had seen it before, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He cracked a smile, feeling like he owed it to Renji. "Thank you….Renji…" Renji shot him a strangely sad smile and closed his eyes, dozing off immediately.

Byakuya stood up and walked out of the meeting hall, medics immediately rushing in to take Renji to the fourth squad.

Renji's POV

I can't stay mad at him. He deserves it, but I just can't stay mad at him. My taicho. Kuchiki Byakuya. I must say, I was shocked when I found him in that storage room, covered with blood, about to kill someone. I was frightened of him. I really was. That look in his eyes made me want to crawl away in a corner and disappear. I followed his orders obediently, like a dog would obey his master.

I will always obey my captain. He doesn't realize it, but I have fallen for him. Tch. I sound like a girl when I say it like that don't I ? Oh well, it's the truth. At first he irritated me, angered me, and frightened me. But the shudders he sent up my spine with that cold look of him…. I began to long for them after a while, often pissing him off just so he'd pay me attention. I really wanted him. But it's impossible. Oh no, not because I suddenly realized he would never date a guy, but because he is already taken.

When I was in academy, I saw him once before Hisane's death. He had this look in his eyes. I could see it from a mile distance. It was a look of love. Even after Hisane's death, he still held the same look of love. That's why I never made a move. I didn't want to hurt him. Not now, not ever. I decided to wait until he had gotten over Hisane, but it proved fruitless. But recently, I saw a change in his behaviour. He stared out of the window a lot and was easily distracted. He had mood swings that sometimes scared the crap out of me, and he started to punish small crimes instead of only the big ones.

And only a day ago, I saw that look again. It almost broke me, but it didn't. If Byakuya was happier with someone else, so be it. It took me some time to realize that though. In the beginning, it felt as if he had cheated on me. Kuchiki Byakuya, who I had admired and loved for years, decades maybe, fell in love with someone he barely knew. It made my innards boil. I needed to confront him. I wanted him to choose me, I wanted him to see that I was the one for him.

I immediately rushed over to him when I felt his reiatsu spiked. What I found scared the crap out of me. I swear I almost collapsed at the sight of him. The blade of his sword tainted by blood, his clothes unrecognizably ripped and dirtied, the tip of his sword ready to push into it's victim's throat. I had gasped, and it relieved me to see that he lowered his sword. When he turned around, I saw that look again. The look that said; "I love someone with all my soul." And it angered me to no end. Couldn't he see me ? Didn't I do anything he asked ? Well, I once attacked him to surpass him, but I wanted to make him proud. I just wanted him to see me, acknowledge me, love me.

I was rude to Byakuya, secretly wanting nothing more than to just slap him in the face and scream at him. But when he stepped in front of me and ordered me to clean up his mess, I found myself unable to refuse. If he hadn't shunpo'd away before I had a chance to answer, he would have heard me say; "I'd do anything for you…" I cleaned up as best as I could, cursing myself the entire time. Why couldn't I refuse him ? Why couldn't I run to the other captains and play the tattletale ? I know the answer. I love him. I couldn't stand watching him break under punishments and shame. I'd rather die than seeing him unhappy.

When I saw him at the dungeon, I had the intention to tell him everything, but his expression frightened me, and I feared for the lives of the prisoners. I could only utter two words before he slammed me roughly into a wall. Or so I've heard. I don't remember a single part of it. He hit me pretty hard. When I woke up, I stared right in the face of Unohana. I wanted to sit up and call for my love…I mean, my captain ! Yes, my captain. But my mouth felt heavy, and it took me a good minute to tell her what I meant. Luckily, she called Byakuya over immediately.

I planned on telling him, but again… that look. This time it was pleading, desperate, sad, but also filled with fire, not ready to give up no matter what. It paralyzed me. Why would he go so far ? For a moment, I became angry with him again, and I asked him why. Why had he done that to those Shinigami ? I knew the answer. It was so obvious, but I couldn't help asking it. I wanted him to prove me wrong, but he didn't. He confirmed my suspicion. When I realized he'd never be mine, I almost cried out, but I kept quiet, crying silently on the inside.

For a short moment, I wanted revenge. I wanted to show him. I wanted to break him. How dare he not love me ? How DARE he not see me ?! But then, he bowed his head, and did something I hadn't even dared to dream of. Kuchiki Byakuya, 6th division captian, pleaded. He _pleaded_ ! For a moment, I was totally flabbergasted. And then, I felt strangely happy. He had seen me after all. Not as a lover, but he had seen me. I know it shouldn't have, but it made me insanely happy, and before I knew it, I swore to him that I'd cover for him.

The smile that he gave me gave me a fuzzy feeling, and suddenly, I no longer cared if I was the one Byakuya was holding, as long as I would be able to see that smile once more….. Damn it ! I STILL sound like a lovesick puppy ! Stop it Renji ! Stop it NOW ! You did this out if duty. Let's just keep it at that.

I could barely hear is word of thanks as the world faded around me. I was just too tired to stay awake. I just hoped I'd live through it.

Hanatarou's POV

When Hanatarou woke up, he was in the captain's room again, and he immediately sat up, checking for further injuries. Surprised when he found himself bandaged up and very well healed. When he tried to get up, he was surprised when he actually succeeded. He looked down at his leg. "H….healed ?" His voice scared him, he sounded like he had been smoking too much cigarettes with glass shards.

A sudden noise in the corner of the room startled him, and he fell back onto the bed. "Wh-wha… Oh… Yo3u're awake." A grouchy looking man sitting in a small chair in the corner yawned and stood up. "That is good news, I need you conscious to heal to properly." Hanatarou stared at the man, feeling very self-conscious, even though he was dressed in payama's now. "Wh…who dressed me ?" The grouchy man gave him a slightly annoyed look, but answered him anyway. "I did. The almighty Byakuya didn't have time for that he said." Hanatarou clenched the sheets in his hands, feeling shivers running up his spine.

"B-Bya….Byaku-ya ? Oh no ! I have to get out of here !" Hanatarou made a dash for the door, but the man stopped him. "You're not running away, you are still too weak and-" Hanatarou didn't even take the time to listen to the man and tried to kick him down, succeeding to his own surprise. For a moment he considered apologising and healing the man, but at the thought of Kuchiki Byakuya he grabbed the handle of the door and started shaking it in an attempt to open it. "Open open open open !! Please open !"

The door didn't open, and Hanatarou gave up, hugging his knees as he sat in front of the closed door. "Ack.. Cough cough !!" Hanatarou got up slowly and prepared to heal the coughing man. "I… I'm sorry, sir…. I …. I just…. I…. Kuchiki… I…" He felt a tear forming, but he swept it away, deciding he had cried enough the last few days. The man gave him an understanding look.

"I know what you've been through. I understand. I've seen many people who have been raped like this. What you did was very understandable." Hanatarou felt his knees buckling at the word rape, and suddenly a sharp pain pierced his head. He fell to the ground and emptied his stomach on the floor, twitching and coughing as pain wracked his head. "What the…. Kid ! Can you hear me ?! What's wrong ?" Hanatarou could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears and his vision was blackening.

"_**Ahh**__, yea you lik__-e th-at don't__ cha, ya __**dirty slut!"**_ Strange voices and visions were flooding his mind, sometimes clear, sometimes blurred. _Semen, blood and alcohol……… Tears……… Grey eyes……… Storage room……… Blood… So much blood, so much blood. SO MUCH BLO- _Suddenly a splash of cold water hit his face, and Hanatarou gasped for air, immediately regretting it as his sore throat sent pain coursing through him.

He had a horrible taste in his mouth, his throat hurt real bad, and the images of his 'episode' were still burned into his memory. He started hyperventilating as he rocked back and forth in an attempt to calm himself down. He vaguely noticed someone rubbing his back and massaging his shoulders. "Calm. Take deep breaths kid." Hanatarou forced himself to even out his breathing and he let his head hang slightly. The grouchy man coughed a few times, but kept rubbing his back in a calming motion. "You okay kid?"

Hanatarou stared at the ground, still feeling nauseas, but forced out a weak smile and turned his head to the man behind him. "I…yes… I ….feel fine…" The man, whom Hanatarou assumed was a medic, gave him an annoyed look. "Yea right you are. First you kick me down, then you heal me, then you start puking all over the place before falling on the ground and twitching like a brain-dead dog !" Hanatarou closed his eyes and let out a small sniff.

The medic sighed and helped Hanatarou back on the bed. He stood up and turned around. "Hey kid, I'll get you some good food and some stuff to enjoy yourself with okay ? Don't try to escape 'kay ?" Hanatarou stared at him blankly, not feeling like answering. The medic grabbed a coat that hung from the chair in the corner and walked through the door, but not before mumbling something to himself. "I can't believe Byakuya did something like this." Hanatarou stiffened at the mention of his rapist. What had the medic meant ? Hanatarou got up and limped towards the bathroom.

He had been aching for a shower ever since he had regained consciousness. He stripped himself from his pyjama's and stepped into the shower, making it as hot as he could bear. He felt an urge to clean himself. He grabbed a brush and started scrubbing his skin as if wanting to peel it off. The longer he scrubbed, the dirtier he felt. Why couldn't he be clean ? He became frantic in his tried to clean himself and the brush scrubbed his skin open, turning the scorching hot water a slight pink as it swirled down the drain.

Hanatarou threw the brush away and started to scratch at his skin. The dirt was superficial. His skin was superficial. Get rid of the skin, get rid of the dirt. He stopped only when he raked his nails over a still sore wound on his side sending a horrifying wave of pain through him. He collapsed on the floor, clutching his side as he let out small sobs. He turned the shower out and crawled out of the shower, wrapping himself in a warm towel. For a small moment Hanatarou dozed off, lying on the cold floor, his skin red and burning from the scorching water and the merciless scrubbing.

Then, Hanatarou got up and re-bandaged his leg and side, and added two new bandages on his red arms. After that he dragged the blankets from the bed and put them in the bathroom, feeling more secure in the small white room with it's small lock on the door. He made a small nest for himself in one of the large cupboards, enjoying the warm small space.

The medic returned only a few minutes later with Hanatarou's food, panicking when he was unable to find Hanatarou, but that mood changed as soon as he found Hanatarou in the cupboard, curled up like a small ball with a huge blanket wrapped around him.

"Che, I hope you like cold soup kid." The medic turned around and left the room, not noticing the newly added bandages around Hanatarou's arms.

**I am NEVER writing Renji's pov EVER again ! My GAWD ! That sucked ! I made him seem like a damned lovesick puppy !! Wugh ! **

**Next update on Friday unless I don't get reviews ( No just kidding I'll update Friday :) )**

**~Lanny**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey there everyone. I updated. I tried updating earlier, but I had a small writers block. I am not really satisfied with the beginning of this chapter, when I wrote it I didn't know how to go on, so it plainly sucks. I see it as a time-filler. Oh yea, any idea's for a name for the Medic ? I mean, I think he needs a name. Also, the beginning of this chapter might not fit well with the ending, but I just hope you won't notice that and can enjoy the story !**

Hanatarou's POV

When Hanatarou woke up, he was in the captain's room again, and he immediately sat up, checking for further injuries. Surprised when he found himself bandaged up and very well healed. When he tried to get up, he was surprised when he actually succeeded. He looked down at his leg. "H….healed ?" His voice scared him, he sounded like he had been smoking too much cigarettes with glass shards.

A sudden noise in the corner of the room startled him, and he fell back onto the bed. "Wh-wha… Oh… You're awake." A grouchy looking man sitting in a small chair in the corner yawned and stood up. "That is good news, I need you conscious to heal to properly." Hanatarou stared at the man, feeling very self-conscious, even though he was dressed in payama's now. "Wh…who dressed me ?" The grouchy man gave him a slightly annoyed look, but answered him anyway. "I did. The almighty Byakuya didn't have time for that he said." Hanatarou clenched the sheets in his hands, feeling shivers running up his spine.

"B-Bya….Byaku-ya ? Oh no ! I have to get out of here !" Hanatarou made a dash for the door, but the man stopped him. "You're not running away, you are still too weak and-" Hanatarou didn't even take the time to listen to the man and tried to kick him down, succeeding to his own surprise. For a moment he considered apologising and healing the man, but at the thought of Kuchiki Byakuya he grabbed the handle of the door and started shaking it in an attempt to open it. "Open open open open !! Please open !"

The door didn't open, and Hanatarou gave up, hugging his knees as he sat in front of the closed door. His panic attack was cut short as the man on the ground let out a few pitiful coughs. Hanatarou got up hastily and prepared to heal the coughing man. "I… I'm sorry, sir…. I …. I just…. I…. Kuchiki… I…" He felt a tear forming, but he swept it away, deciding he had cried enough the last few days. The man let out a sigh as his coughs subsided and he gave Hanatarou an understanding look.

"I know what you've been through. I understand. I've seen many people who have been raped like this. What you did was very understandable." Hanatarou felt his knees buckling at the word rape, and he got up to get to the bathroom. He felt sick and his legs felt like rubber. He grabbed onto the doorframe of the bathroom in an attempt to steady himself, but failing horribly as his legs gave away underneath him. His head was spinning and his vision was fading slowly. Suddenly a sharp pain pierced his head. He hunched over and emptied his stomach on the floor, twitching and coughing as pain wracked his head. "What the…. Kid ! Can you hear me ?! What's wrong ?" Hanatarou could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears and his vision was blackening.

"_**Ahh**__, yea you lik__-e th-at don't__ cha, ya __**dirty slut!"**_ Strange voices and visions were flooding his mind, sometimes clear, sometimes blurred. _Semen, blood and alcohol……… Tears……… Grey eyes……… Storage room……… Blood… So much blood, so much blood. SO MUCH BLO- _Suddenly a splash of cold water hit his face, and Hanatarou gasped for air, immediately regretting it as his sore throat sent pain coursing through him.

He had a horrible taste in his mouth, his throat hurt real bad, and the images of his 'episode' were still burned into his memory. He started hyperventilating as he rocked back and forth in an attempt to calm himself down. He vaguely noticed someone rubbing his back and massaging his shoulders. "Calm. Take deep breaths kid." Hanatarou forced himself to even out his breathing and he let his head hang slightly. The grouchy man coughed a few times, but kept rubbing his back in a calming motion. "You okay kid?"

Hanatarou stared at the ground, still feeling nauseas, but forced out a weak smile and turned his head to the man behind him. "I…yes… I ….feel fine…" The man, whom Hanatarou assumed was a medic, gave him an annoyed look. "Yea right you are. First you kick me down, then you heal me, then you start puking all over the place before falling on the ground and twitching like a brain-dead dog !" Hanatarou closed his eyes and let out a small sniff.

The medic sighed and helped Hanatarou back on the bed. He stood up and turned around. "Hey kid, I'll get you some good food and some stuff to enjoy yourself with okay ? Don't try to escape 'kay ?" Hanatarou stared at him blankly, not feeling like answering. The medic grabbed a coat that hung from the chair in the corner and walked through the door, but not before mumbling something to himself. "I can't believe Byakuya did something like this." Hanatarou stiffened at the mention of his rapist. What had the medic meant ? Hanatarou got up and limped towards the bathroom.

He had been aching for a shower ever since he had regained consciousness. He stripped himself from his pyjama's and stepped into the shower, making it as hot as he could bear. He felt an urge to clean himself. He grabbed a brush and started scrubbing his skin as if wanting to peel it off. The longer he scrubbed, the dirtier he felt. Why couldn't he be clean ? He became frantic in his tried to clean himself and the brush scrubbed his skin open, turning the scorching hot water a slight pink as it swirled down the drain.

Hanatarou threw the brush away and started to scratch at his skin. The dirt was superficial. His skin was superficial. Get rid of the skin, get rid of the dirt. He stopped only when he raked his nails over a still sore wound on his side sending a horrifying wave of pain through him. He collapsed on the floor, clutching his side as he let out small sobs. He turned the shower out and crawled out of the shower, wrapping himself in a warm towel. For a small moment Hanatarou dozed off, lying on the cold floor, his skin red and burning from the scorching water and the merciless scrubbing.

Then, Hanatarou got up and re-bandaged his leg and side, and added two new bandages on his red arms. After that he dragged the blankets from the bed and put them in the bathroom, feeling more secure in the small white room with it's small lock on the door. He made a small nest for himself in one of the large cupboards, enjoying the warm small space.

The medic returned only a few minutes later with Hanatarou's food, panicking when he was unable to find Hanatarou, but that mood changed as soon as he found Hanatarou in the cupboard, curled up like a small ball with a huge blanket wrapped around him.

"Che, I hope you like cold soup kid." The medic turned around and left the room, not noticing the newly added bandages around Hanatarou's arms.

Byakuya's POV

"So, how is he ?!" Byakuya had to keep himself from shaking the medic when the man stepped out of Hanatarou's room. The Medic shot him a disapproving look and walked past him while answering. "He is traumatised. That is to be expected from a rape-victim. I don't know what you expect me to do Kuchiki-sama. I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist, I am a medic. I can't just give him a pill to make him forget. Wounds like this don't heal, not even with time." Byakuya felt like strangling the man walking in front of him, his temper was very dangerous lately and Byakuya did not feel like changing it at all.

There was one man left in the dungeon, and Byakuya only had to think of him to boil with uncontrollable rage. This morning he had thrashed a chair in his frustration. He knew the source of his anger and frustration. Hanatarou. He wanted to be the one to comfort the boy, to soothe his pain and to shield him from danger, but Hanatarou didn't want him. Hanatarou was scared of him. Hanatarou almost killed himself just to get away from him. He clearly remembered how Hanatarou had rejected him.

He hadn't been able to understand it. Why ? Why was Hanatarou acted this way ? When he had returned from the last captains meeting he had collapsed into a chair, not moving or talking for half an hour. The medic later told him that he had had a small shock. Not that he really cared. He needed to save Hanatarou, but it would be tough. His headache was increasing too. He needed to sleep for a long time, but he knew that wouldn't be possible, not now.

2 Days later….

Two days had passed now, and things were getting more complicated with the day.

Renji had managed to put up a convincing story, but now Sereitei was under the impression that they were under attack from mysterious powerful Ryoka. The captains were sent out to find these strange ryoka and eliminate them. Byakuya was still surprised Genryuusai had believed it this fast, but maybe Byakuya was just fooling himself and playing a game he's lose.

Byakuya had almost yelled out loud when Genryuusai had told them about the measures he was going to take. Every captain was obliged to search for these new ryoka until they were found. After 14 hours Genryuusai had changed that mission, because Ukitake had fallen asleep when trying to report. Now the captains were to take shifts in night and day searches. It took so much time ! He didn't even have the time to visit Hanatarou or Renji, and he was exhausted. He stood up from his bed and went to the meeting hall, hoping that Genryuusai had decided such measures were useless.

"Captains of Sereitei. None of you have found traces of these Ryoka. So either they are very skilled, or Abarai Renji was lying." Genryuusai fell silent for a while and Byakuya tried his best to keep in his sigh of annoyance and worry. If they discovered Renji had lied, he would be killed, or put away for the rest of his afterlife. The only thing he could do was convince the other captains of these Ryoka. But how ?.... Genryuusai broke his train of thoughts as he spoke again.

"I will ask Ukitake and Kyouraku to investigate this matter. This meeting has taken long enough. The previous mission will be cancelled until we find proof that these Ryoka are real. Dismissed." Byakuya slowly walked out the hall, thinking of a way to convince everyone that Renji was speaking the truth, but a sudden hand in his shoulder shook him from his planning and forced him to turn around. It was Unohana. Byakuya needed only one glance at her face to see that she didn't believe the ryoka-bullshit. Byakuya felt a shudder go down his spine as he looked in the face of an angry Unohana.

"Byakuya. Where was Hanatarou when the ryoka attacked ? The men who disappeared weren't his friends, I would be surprised if he even went into a three meter radius of those men. Where was he ?" Byakuya shot her the iciest look he could muster and shook her hand off his shoulder before answering coolly. "Unohana-taicho, I am a captain. I do not waste my time babysitting a 7th seat while he cleans my pond." Byakuya figured she'd have to go with that and turned around, practically feeling Unohana's gaze on his back.

When he arrived at home, he walked past his former bedroom, wanting nothing more than to barge in and hug Hanatarou, but he knew what would happen, because it would happen every time he entered the room. The medic said it was some sort of panic attack that was a result of a trauma. "This hasn't been a one-time thing Kuchiki-sama. From the severity of these panic-attacks I can see that he has been raped at least 2 more times." Whenever Byakuya remembered those lines, his anger boiled again.

The sole man in the dungeon was still alive, but Byakuya needed to find a way to get rid of him without needing to dump the bodies. The other bodies had already been found, so the spot Renji had used was no longer and option, and a corpse in his mansion was worse than a prisoner. Byakuya shook his head to free his mind of his anger and cautiously unlocked and opened the door. Hanatarou was sleeping peacefully, curled up like a little kitten in his soft blankets. Byakuya's anger was gone like snow in the sun. He stepped into the room, enjoying the calm and peaceful atmosphere in the bedroom, watching Hanatarou sleep. He stepped forward and softly brushed his hand against Hanatarou's cheek, smiling when Hanatarou leaned in to his touch with a small sound.

Before he knew it, he was leaning down, his hair falling over his shoulder as he was nose to nose with Hanatarou. He placed a soft kiss on Hanatarou's partly opened lips, resisting the urge to slip his tongue in to taste Hanatarou. After the small kiss, he stood up and left, turning back to take one last glance at the sleeping boy. When he exited the room, he came across the medic, who sent him an alarmed look. "Oh no ! Did you enter the room ?" Byakuya shook his head and walked on. He didn't feel like talking. He felt like sleep.

The medic took a short look in the room, and after confirming that Hanatarou wasn't freaking out, he ran after Byakuya. "Kuchiki-sama, I need to have a word with you… It's about Hanatarou's condition." Byakuya's sleepiness faded and he signalled the medic to follow him to one of his many study rooms.

As soon as they entered, Byakuya shut the door and locked it. He stood in front of the medic and stared down at the man. The medic made an uncomfortable noise and seemed to shrink in his chair. "Kuchiki-sama…. I'm afraid that Hanatarou might never recover his memory of what has truly happened. He is convinced that you raped him, and even though I had some hope that he would recover his memory soon, it seems like this is not the case. He has permanent amnesia." Byakuya stared at the medic without truly seeing the man.

What would he do now ? Holding Hanatarou here wasn't a possibility, he didn't want to keep the boy a prisoner in his house. Letting him go free would lead to his execution without a doubt. They would find out his crime, and add Hanatarou's rape on the list. Even though he was a strong captain, raping someone else's subordinate and killed four others was enough to get a death sentence. There was no option. No option but to keep Hanatarou prisoner for the rest of his after life…..or…..kill him.

Byakuya's hands twitched at the thought and his jaw clenched. He had killed four men just to avenge this boy, and now he was considering killing Hanatarou ? With his own hands ? How despicable. "Kuchiki-sama ?" The voice of the medic dragged him back into reality and he quickly tried to composed himself, failing as he tried to speak. "I…. I need some time…. I….. Just leave." The medic gave him a short bow and took the key from the table to unlock the door. "I will return this later Kuchiki-sama." Byakuya didn't even hear him and he nodded numbly as he sat down at his chair.

The door closed behind the medic and Byakuya buried his head in his hands. This was all wrong. What would he do ? Die for the happiness of his newly found love ? Or would he keep the boy, letting him live in the constant fear of being killed or raped ? What would he do ?.... What ?.....

There was no choice.

He'd have to die.

Hanatarou's POV

Things were getting better. Hanatarou could consider this the best time of his life, only the threat of getting raped at any moment spoiled it all. The door was locked 24/7, and he wasn't let out of the room without supervision. Not that he went out much, he had damaged his leg again when he had tried to sneak off during one of his few walks.

He sighed as he tried to amuse himself by counting the spots on the woodwork. Only the medic visited him, but he never staye long. Hanatarou sighed and stopped counting. It was boring anyway. He felt anxious. He had felt anxious ever since he had woken up in this room three days ago. He really needed to distract himself, but it proved to be impossible. His leg was still not well enough to try and play games in the room, and he had nothing else to amuse himself with. So all he could do was wait.

"What am I waiting for ?" In his days of loneliness Hanatarou had developed a habit of talking out loud. He had discovered that it helped clearing up his mind. "Am I waiting for death ? If so, why haven't I been killed yet ?" He sighed and rolled to his side, staring at the window. Trying to escape would be futile, as he knew the window was being watched by guards from the outside. He was glad the windows had been tinted. He continued his game, ignoring the jumps his stomach made when he thought about his possible future.

"Am I here to serve as his…..toy ? If so… why hasn't he taken me until now….?" He pulled his knees up to his chest and let out a shuddering breath. There was no answer to any of his questions, only vague assumptions that made him shiver under his blankets. "Will he sell me as a whore when I have healed ?" It sounded stupid, Hanatarou knew that, but apparently he had some sort of sex-appeal. Why else had so many men raped him until now ?

Hanatarou took in a sharp breath in a try to calm himself. Why was he here ? As a prisoner ? A toy ? A hostage ? It didn't make sense ! Something was missing. He'd been having that feeling for quite some time now. Every night, he would have nightmares, he would relive every horrifying moment, but there was something he desperately needed to remember, something very, very important. That much he knew. But as soon as he opened his eyes, it was all gone. Every detail that had made him thrash and scream in his sleep had disappeared as soon as he awoke.

Hanatarou threw off the blankets and cautiously stepped out of the soft bed, heading for the bathroom. He limped most of the way, leaning against the wall for support. His urge to clean himself hadn't lessened one bit. At some point the medic had even forced him out of the bathroom because he was scratching his skin off. By now it didn't go that far, but he still felt dirty, stained. Even more than usual. He had been raped before, but not by so many men, not so many times. The previous times had made him feel like a rape-victim, but this time, he just felt like a dirty whore.

He stepped into the shower and sat down, letting out a sigh of relief when the pain in his leg subsided. He grabbed a bar of soap and began rubbing it viciously over his skin, knowing that it would never be able to rid him of this dirty feeling. He felt tears stinging in his eyes but he wiped them away quickly. He despised himself. All he could do was cry. Sitting around, waiting for his fate and crying were all the things he could do. He put the soap back and rested his forehead against the cold tiles. He had to do something ! Obviously no one had missed him so far, so he had to get out of this by himself ! He slowly stood up, careful not to harm his injured leg and stepped out of the shower.

He opened the closet to grab some clothes. But he was met with only loose pyjama's. They looked very soft and comfortable, but they also looked very thin and cold. Hanatarou sighed and put them on, feeling a bit stupid as the huge pyjama almost slipped off his shoulder. Without a doubt, this was Kuchiki-taicho's pyjama. For a moment, Hanatarou considered not changing clothes at all, but as he looked at his old rags, he decided he couldn't be picky at th moment. He attempted to tie the pyjama's up so they would not fall off of his shoulders and limped to the door. He grabbed he handle of the door and tried to open it. It was locked.

For a moment, Hanatarou stood perfectly still, and then he slammed the palm of his hand against his forehead. How could he have thought that they had left the door open all these days ? What an idiot he was ! He grabbed the handle with both hands and started to shake it with all his might in a futile attempt to open it, only to sink down to the ground with a whimper of pain. He damned his leg and sat with his back against the wall next to the door, trying to figure out what to do now. Suddenly, the door swung open, hitting him square in the nose. Hanatarou's squeak of pain was not loud enough to overcome the voice of the medic.

"Hanatarou-san, where are you ?" Hanatarou heard the footsteps of the medic go to the bathroom, and he crawled through the door, not believing his luck. He stood up shakily and hobbled away, wiping some blood from his nose. From the room behind him, he heard the medic's panicked voice. "Shit!! He has escaped !!" Hanatarou's breath hitched in his throat as he tried to get away, looking around for a possible hiding-spot. He stumbled around the corner and spotted some sort of stairs. They were hidden in the shadows, and they looked like a perfect hiding place.

Without hesitating, Hanatarou descended the stairs, trying his best not to trip over the slightly wetted stones. When he reached the end he was met with the smell of sweat, old air and something that smelled somewhat like….. rotting flesh ? No that couldn't be right…. He scrunched his nose, feeling nausea bubbling up at the strange scent. Behind him, he could hear the frantic yelling of various people upstairs. "I will check the dungeon! You guys go on ahead !" Hanatarou shivered and took a shuddering breath. He looked around frantically, spotting a heavy-looking iron door. Without hesitation he grabbed the handle, twisted it until it clicked and slammed it shut behind him.

He put his ear against the iron door, feeling the cold steel against his face. He was met with footsteps, and then, silence. Hanatarou let out a sigh of relief and turned around, resting his back against the iron door. But when he looked up, he was scared out of his wits. A man was sitting in front of him, tied up with heavy iron chains. Apparently he was underfed and heavily tortured. The man was dirty, his skin covered with dust-filled scars and open wounds. His breath was ragged and around him were several rotting corpses Hanatarou gasped and tried to hold back a scream, at the same time trying to prevent himself from puking. How sick was this captain ?! He even trapped weak Shinigami in his huge manor so he could torture them ? That sick….. Sick…. Rapist !!

Hanatarou dragged himself forward and began undoing the man's ties, startled when the man slumped forward into his lap. He quickly turned the man over, ripping a part of his pyjama's to try and clean the clearly infected wounds. He used kidou and tried to heal the mas as best as he could. "Too bad I can't heal myself. That'd be weird…. I'd be healing myself with…myself…. Is that even logical ?......" Hanatarou trailed off and concentrated on healing the injured man in front of him. The rotting bodies were making him nauseas and the healing was sapping away all of his strength.

Suddenly, the man beneath him stirred and Hanatarou let out a relieved sound. He stood up and opened the door. He had been extraordinary lucky that is was a door that could only be unlocked from outside. He pushed the door open and took a quick look around to see if the coast was clear. Then he quickly hurried back to the groaning man in the dungeon. He tried to hoist the man up, but his leg protested and he fell to the ground with a small yelp.

The man opened his eyes and stared at Hanatarou for a moment. "Ah, you are awake, your injuries are severe, I healed you the best I could bu-" Suddenly a fist hit the side of his head and sprawled out over the dirty ground with a loud scream. It didn't stop at that. The man breathed heavily and got up, landing another punch on Hanatarou as he started screaming. "Y-you here ta h-hurt me huh ? HUH ?! I-I-….. NEVER! I w-w-won't l-et you do that !! Y-you!! Nonononononononono !" This man was crazy !! Hanatarou tried to scramble away from the man, not able to bring forth coherent words due to the horrible pain in his leg.

The man started muttering as he rolled up in a small ball and rocked back and forth. Hanatarou crawled to the door, dragging his injured leg behind him, and tried to open it. At the sound of the door opening, the man lost all of his sanity that he had left. He jumped onto Hanatarou and started to pound on him with his bony fists. "NO NO N ON O NON O NON ONONO NONOOON ONONO NO!!!" Hanatarou had shielded his face with his arms, but now he felt the man grabbing the front of his pyjama's. He was lifted high up in the air as the man kept screaming and trembling all over his body.

Then, the man slammed his head against the wall, hard. A white light flashed before his eyes and a horrible pain wracked his head. His head was pulled back and smashed against the wall. When he heard a sickening crunch he felt like puking his organs out. The white light kept flashing every time his head hit the wall. And with every flash, something came back. Four men. Horrible pain in his leg. Cold cold cold floor. Cold steel against his throat… Eating dinner with Kuchiki-taicho…. Spilling food…. Falling asleep on his plate….

As the memories flooded back, he could no longer hold back his tears and they dripped from his eyes. Hanatarou wondered for a moment if he was sobbing, the pain was blocking out everything except the memories he had lost. Suddenly the grip on his hair lessened and he fell to the cold ground. Then everything went pitch-black.

**Awww Naww ! What did me do now ? I just cliffhangered you all didn't I ? Or .... wasn't it a cliffhanger ? I'm not sure, I know what will happen next so I won't wait anxiously for the next update.... Hmmm...**

**Suggestions ?**

**Idea's ?**

**Review ! Response is guaranteed :)**

**~Lanny**


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh dear, Never have I written so much in one day. I was up to two sentences when I started to work on this chapter. There is a lot of things I hate in this chapter, but I won't and can't do anything about it. I hope you'll be able to enjoy it. Also; there might be an alternate ending.**

**Enjoyzz !**

Byakuya's POV

"Kuchiki-sama, dinner has been served." Byakuya didn't answer and kept staring in front of him. No matter how he looked at it, there was no way out. No way in which both Hanatarou and himself would be spared. Byakuya let out a shuddering breath and turned around to look at his monument for Hisane. "Hisane…. What should I do ? I can't….don't want to kill him…. But if I don't, there's no way I will get out of this unscathed. In the worst way, I will be executed like a criminal, a rapist, a murderer." Hisane's portrait didn't answer, and Byakuya hung his head.

"I don't want the boy to die, but I don't want him to be unhappy either. The only solution I can think of that would spare Hanatarou and me, would be suicide." He swallowed. Would he be willing to go that far to save himself from humiliation and shame ? There was another knock on the door. "Kuchiki-sama? Are you coming ?" Byakuya let out a soft sigh and answered with a short no. He hadn't eaten since the medic had told him about Hanatarou's situation.

He stood up and grabbed Senbonzakura, staring at it's blade for a short moment before sheathing it. There was a captain's meeting and he would be expected to be there. He felt like there was lead in his shoes, and he let his shoulders hang. The more he thought about it, the more appealing the option of suicide sounded. There was no reason for him to live anyway, right ? Rukia would be taken care of, and the elders could find someone else to be the Kuchiki-clan head. Hanatarou would be healed and treated better, and a new 6th division captain would be appointed. At least he didn't have to go in shame, lowering his head for an axe or something.

When he entered the Captain's meeting, he knew it had been a mistake to show up. Apparently he looked as suicidal as he felt. When he stood on his usual spot, a kenseikan fell out of his hair and clanked to the ground. Byakuya ignored it and kept staring at his feet, wondering if there was actually lead in his sandals.

For a moment it was eerily quiet, and then Genryuusai spoke. "Kuchiki-taicho. You seem to be unwell, I recommend you visit the fourth division right after this meeting." Byakuya nodded a bit, not really listening as he pondered his options. As soon as he would arrive home, he would write his will and a letter to Genryuusai to explain the situation. _I wonder if I would be given the honour of a gravestone…_ Before he knew it, his melancholic thoughts had kept him busy the entire meeting.

He didn't feel like dealing with the captains, so he forced some strength out of his body, and shunpo'd home, feeling a bit dizzy when arriving. Probably the lack of food.

He went to his room on the automatic pilot and let out a relieved sigh as his head hit the soft blankets. Byakuya almost fell asleep, but he suddenly realized that something was wrong. The bed he was lying in didn't smell like his bed. It smelled like ... "Hanatarou !!!" Byakuya jumped up as realization hit him. The door had been unlocked, the bed empty.

He bolted out of the room, shoving away one of his servants impatiently. He stomped to the room of the medic, not bothering to slam the door behind him. "You!" He slammed the medic against the wall, firmly clasping his hands around the mans throat. "You !! You IDIOT !" The medic responded with a garbled gasp. Byakuya threw the man backwards and ran out of the room. Murdering his medic wouldn't help at all.

He spotted the door that led to the dungeon, and high pitched screams piqued his interest. Immediately he jumped down the stairs, wobbling slightly on his feet as he landed. Suddenly the high pitched scream died out, leaving only rough yells. His breath was laboured and his head was spinning as he slammed open the heavy door.

Hanatarou's head was bleeding, his body was limp, and the man he had been keeping locked up here was repeatedly slamming Hanatarou's head roughly against the wall. Byakuya grabbed the man in his neck and threw him away. He scooped Hanatarou up in his arms and brushed the bloodstained locks away to check the damage.

"Hanatarou ?" The boy's head lolled to the side and he let out a small groan. Byakuya let out a sigh of relief at the small display of life from Hanatarou. He stood up and ran through the door, making sure to slam it closed behind him. Locking in Hanatarou's attacker. Again he barged into the medic's room, and laid Hanatarou down on the examination table. The medic was backed up against the wall, looking utterly frightened. Byakuya stared at the man in anger. "Do something you fool !" The medic scrambled forward and started to examine Hanatarou, forgetting to send out Byakuya like he used to.

"I-it seems he h-has not sustained m-much damage. Just a minor concussion and a small wound. H-he was lucky t-that the prisoner w-was very weak." Byakuya kept silent and let out a long sigh. He noticed finger-shaped bruises on the man's neck, and he felt guilt bubbling up again. People always complemented him for keeping his temper in check, but if stuff like this happened, he was like a bull in a china shop. Unable to stop himself from breaking anything near him.

The medic started to apply a bandage on Hanatarou's head, his hands shaking slightly. Byakuya furrowed his eyebrows and decided to speak up. "I am sorry. I never intended to harm you in any way. You have been a very useful companion and I should not have treated you that way." Byakuya mentally patted himself on the back for still being able to speak calmly and composed. The medic jumped visibly at his words and his hands began trembling again. Byakuya closed his eyes, dozing off for a few moments.

"B-byakuya-sama… I h-have done all I could. H-he needs r-rest now." The medic was out of the room before Byakuya could reply. He stood up and his vision turned black for a split second and his eyes almost slid closed. There was no way he would be able to stay awake more than a few minutes in this state…. Luckily the medic had a few spare beds, one of them was conveniently placed in the corner of the room. Hanatarou was still lying on the examination table, and Byakuya figured he must be awfully cold, only clothed in thin pyjama's that were too big for him. He scooped Hanatarou up in his arms, intending to put him in the bed before going to his own room, but as he bent over to lay Hanatarou down, his legs betrayed him and he fell onto the soft bed together with Hanatarou.

For a moment, he considered trying to get out of the bed, but his body simply wouldn't move. Hanatarou let out a small sound and unconsciously inched closer to Byakuya to warm up his cold body. Byakuya felt very sleepy, and he still felt dizzy from not eating. He made a feeble attempt to pull the covers over the both of them, barely succeeding. He breathed in Hanatarou's scent, and everything was perfect. Tomorrow he would be faced with the consequences, being forced to choose between suicide or murdering his newly found love.

But not now. Now, it was as if they were enjoying the night together, enjoying each other's warmth and scent. As Hanatarou curled against him, it truly felt as if he was loved, as if there was no evil in the world. He took in every single detail. He wanted to remember this for as long as he could. Even if that would probably be tomorrow. His eyes slid closed and he tightened his arms around Hanatarou, loving the small humming sound Hanatarou produced at the sign of affection.

"Ha-….na…tarou…." Before he knew it, he was asleep.

Hanatarou's POV

_Ah… My head... My head hurts. Why does my head hurt ? _Hanatarou shifted slightly and groaned when he was pulled out of his slumber by the aching pain in his head. For a moment, everything was blank, but then, everything came back to him. He jumped up, almost falling back again due to extreme dizziness. He gasped, and grabbed his throat, checking for injuries or bruises. He ran his hands over his skin, under the white loose pyjama's he was wearing, checking for anything. Nothing. Only the painful throbbing in his head proved that it had all happened.

His escape, his encounter with that prisoner…. The prisoner. One of the men that had raped him. Hanatarou covered his mouth with his hand, feeling that he might puke. His head was still spinning and he let himself fall back, puking next to the bed due to the fast motion. He became even more nauseated as he watched his puke dripping from the wall onto the bed. He cursed himself for moving too fast and he rubbed his temples in an attempt to rid himself of his headache. He turned slowly, planning on crawling to the end of the bed so he could reach the bathroom. But suddenly, he placed his hand on top of something soft and warm.

He looked down, and was met with Kuchiki Byakuya. In a bed. Sleeping. Next to him ! Hanatarou gasped, pulled his hand from Byakuya's chest and quickly crawled back to his part of the bed, startled when Byakuya suddenly let out a loud snore and made a strange movement in his sleep, throwing the covers off of the bed.

The taste in his mouth was killing him, and Hanatarou looked around, spotting a glass of water on the desk next to Byakuya's side of the bed. Hanatarou cautiously crawled over to Byakuya's side of the bed, trying his best to get off without moving too much or waking Byakuya. He put his hands on the edge of the bed, hanging over Byakuya's chest, his Pyjama's falling over Byakuya's face. He grabbed the glass of water, effectively getting rid of the horrible taste of vomit in his mouth. He was about to put the glass back into place when suddenly, two very muscular arms wrapped themselves tightly around his waist. Hanatarou felt his stomach churn again and he dropped the glass on the carpet.

He was pulled against the muscular chest. The captain was still wearing his haori and Shinigami outfit, but during his slumber, it had loosened, showing off Byakuya's bare chest. Hanatarou gasped as he was pushed against the soft skin, and he tried to get away, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of being touched. He now knew that Byakuya never was the one who raped him, but that still didn't explain why the man was in the same bed as he was, clinging to his waist possessively.

Hanatarou struggled to get out of the iron grip the captain had on him, and he let out a small yelp as the arms tightened even more around him. Byakuya turned to his side, effectively trapping Hanatarou between his arms and the puke-covered wall, and started mumbling in his sleep while keeping his iron grip on Hanatarou. "No… Ple…ase… Please don't leave again…. I'm sorry.. stay with me Hana….tarou…" Hanatarou would have considered calming down, had he not been in desperate need of oxygen. He gasped for breath as the captain pushed him even closer. Hanatarou swore he could hear his ribs creaking under the pressure as he took short and superficial breaths.

He wriggled his arms, trying to push himself away from the warm chest, only managing to free his right arm. But it was all he needed, and he slapped Byakuya hard in the face, gasping for air when the death grip was loosened. Byakuya had jumped up and fallen of the bed in surprise, his hand at his zanpaktou and his hair a total mess.

"Wh-what is…" Hanatarou still gasped for air, hyperventilating slightly as the dizziness came back in full force. He tried to roll over, but he failed and puked over the bed once again, his entire body trembling and twitching. He lied still in a pool of his own vomit, and suddenly he had to cry. Nothing was going well. Everything was so wrong ! Why did this have to happen to him again !? Getting raped, almost getting killed, losing his memory, regaining it after getting his head slammed into a wall, and…. He just wanted rest. Just rest…..The tears just kept on coming, streaming over his face and dripping into the dirty covers.

Suddenly a hand wiped away some of his tears, and Hanatarou flinched away. He could hear a hushed whisper as he was pulled into a gentle hug. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…." In a desperate need of comfort, Hanatarou wrapped his think arms around Byakuya, not even noticing the silent sobs that came from the man he was holding. After a few moments, the tears stopped streaming and Hanatarou was able to think straight.

"K-kuchiki-taicho….?" Hanatarou's voice was a bit frightened, Byakuya didn't answer, and wrapped his arms a bit tighter around the boy. For a small moment Hanatarou wondered if Byakuya had fallen asleep again, but that theory was proved wrong when Byakuya spoke. It was a hoarse whisper, and Hanatarou almost hadn't heard it. "Please, just let me pretend that you like me…. Please…." Hanatarou was stunned. What ? What was that ? What the hell ? Did Kuchiki Byakuya just say what he thought he said ?? No way. No way !! But Byakuya seemed unaware of his confusion and kept on talking. "Tomorrow, you will be free…. I will be g-gone and you will be able to resume y-your noma-normal life." Byakuya was shaking slightly, sobbing softly against Hanatarou. "Wh-what are you talking about Kuchiki-sama ?!" Hanatarou tried to push Byakuya off, he needed to look at his face, but Byakuya only tightened his grip and spoke again.

"I… Hanatarou… I think I … I think I like you… I like you… I… I never cared about that pond, I w-was j-just interested i-in you and…. I….I'm so sorry I wasn't able to save you."

Hanatarou awkwardly patted Byakuya's head and stroked the messy and unkempt hair. Byakuya's sobs died out and he relaxed in Hanatarou's arms burying his nose in Hanatarou's pyjama shirt. "Kuchiki-taicho, i-it's okay. R-rea-really… A-and I-" But Hanatarou never got to finish his sentence. Suddenly, a pair of lips were pressed against his own gently, and a hand snaked behind his head, preventing him from pulling away.

Byakuya had his eyes closed and there were still some tears leaking over his cheeks as he kissed Hanatarou. Hanatarou tried to push Byakuya away, but it was as if he was trying to push away an iron wall. Suddenly a tongue licked his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Immediately Hanatarou opened his mouth to protest, only to have a tongue snake it's way inside his mouth. Hanatarou turned his head away, finally succeeding in avoiding the captain's kiss. But before he had any chance to protest, Byakuya spoke again.

"I'm sorry. This is all I will do. You will never be bothered by me ever again. You are welcome to blame anything on me. After my death that will not matter anymore." Hanatarou stared at him. "W-what are you talking about ? Are you…. Are you dying ?! I…. I am a medic, a-and maybe I'd be of some help or-" Byakuya cut him off sharply. "I am going to commit suicide for both mine and your sake, so don't …try to be nice."

Byakuya turned to leave the room, his shoulders hanging and his head lowered. Hanatarou got up shakily and grasped the sleeve of Byakuya's haori. "No ! No ! P-please Kuchiki-sama, s-suicide is not the answer ! You don't have to do it ! You didn't rape me ! I remember ! You didn't rape me ! I would never …. Lie to anyone ! You just didn't rape me ! You saved me…. And …..I…." Hanatarou trailed off, not really knowing how to continue. Byakuya stared at the boy unbelievingly before speaking, a mocking smile on his face. "You're fucking with me aren't you ? You want to give me a few last kicks before I kill myself ? Fine, go ahead." Hanatarou shook his head frantically and clutched Byakuya's sleeve in his tiny hand.

"No! Byakuya ! Killing yourself would only do me harm ! I…. I…. care about y-you…" Hanatarou let the sleeve slip out of his hand and turned his gaze to the ground. "I have always liked you Kuchiki-taicho, whenever I saw you, even from a distance, I felt afraid, but I also wanted to know more about y-you…. I always wondered how someone could keep his cool after losing everything in his life. I….I always took the jobs related to the 6th division. The more I saw you… The more I wanted y-you to be h-happy…." Hanatarou kept staring at his bare feet, wanting to sink through the floor and disappear.

"Stop messing with me !!" Suddenly Hanatarou was wrapped in a very tight and warm embrace. Byakuya kissed him forcefully on the mouth, not even asking for permission and just sliding in his tongue as soon as he could. Hanatarou shivered a bit, but returned the kiss hesitantly. As soon as he moved his tongue, he was thrown back on the ground, Byakuya leaning over him and sliding his hands under Hanatarou's pyjama shirt. Hanatarou broke the kiss to let out a loud moan.

He half expected Byakuya to continue the kiss, and was surprised when Byakuya's tongue traced over the side of his neck, travelling lower until he reached his chest. Hanatarou let out a squeal and slapped Byakuya away. He stared at the man with frightened eyes, images of his last sexual experience flashing through his mind. "P-p-please d-don't ! Y-you're g-going too far !!" Byakuya took his hands back and a sad look filled his eyes as he pulled away from the small boy.

"I'm sorry Hanatarou. I shouldn't have assumed that you liked me the same way I liked you….Tomorrow you will return to the fourth squad." Byakuya put his haori right and prepared himself to walk out of the room. Hanatarou stared at the captains retreating back. What the hell was this ? He practically confessed, Byakuya kissed him, and now he just left ?! "Wait !" Byakuya halted his movements and turned his head, his face betraying no emotion whatsoever. As soon as Hanatarou was met with the emotionless mask, his courage fell away. "Please… Don't k-kill yourself…. Kuchiki-taicho….I won't tell anyone, I promise, no one will know anything ! So…so please… don't kill yourself…. Please… "

Byakuya took a deep breath and turned around before answering. "As long as you keep your mouth shut, I will have no reason for suicide. Goodbye."

Hanatarou stared at the ground as Byakuya walked away. _What do I feel for this person? _

Byakuya's POV

Never have I despised myself more than today. I am a horrible person. I took advantage of him. I played the victim card. I played the pity card. In short; I did everything I was raised to despise with my entire being. And still, he didn't want me to kill myself. This boy was unbelievable. It was stupid. Why did Hanatarou still care about a person like himself ? He had locked Hanatarou up, had failed to save him from rape and had let him fall into the hands of one of his rapists. And still, the boy hadn't objected as he had forced himself on the boy.

He was grateful for the last piece of sanity that still resided in his mind. He had been able to stop. He had kept himself from damaging Hanatarou beyond repair. But that didn't mean he didn't try. That didn't mean he hadn't wanted to do it. He felt horrible of himself. As he left the room, he tried his best to keep his mask in place, succeeding to his own surprise.

He entered his room and laid on his bed, sniffing in Hanatarou's scent. He had become aroused when he had been exploring Hanatarou's body, and he only hoped he hadn't noticed. After a short while he got up. He was still very sleepy, but he didn't want to soil the sheets with the remains of a wet dream. As he stood under the ice cold shower, he tried positive thinking.

Hanatarou would be free and taken care of, the rapists got exactly what they deserved, and he himself would be spared from death and humiliation. But still, he couldn't feel happy. In some way, dying for the one you love was a good way to go. And now the one he loved would disappear out of his life forever. He knew that Hanatarou had been lying when he had told him about his so-called interest in Byakuya. Byakuya sighed, he desperately wanted it to be true, but he couldn't believe it. If he would allow himself to believe it, he would only continue to hurt Hanatarou.

When he got out of the shower he decided he should continue to live. He hadn't eaten the last few days, and he had ignored his duties as a captain. He was thankful for he mountain of work that would be waiting for him in the office. They would keep his mind off of Hanatarou. Work was the way he coped with things. He had finished paperwork for two weeks when Hisane had died. Something told him it would be similar to that now.

He encouraged himself silently as he dozed off in his bed. "Go on with life Byakuya. Keep living. What happens twice can happen thrice. "

That midday.

Byakuya shoved another piece of food in his mouth, secretly wanting to spit it out and never eat again, and chewed slowly. He picked up a piece of prawn and stared at it for a moment. "Prawn." He was bored. Why else talk to his food? It was also an effective way of keeping his mind off of Hana- _PRAWNS ! Think of PRAWNS ! _A servant walked in and gave him a short bow. "Kuchiki-sama, some of the captains are here to see you." Byakuya nodded, glad to have an excuse to skip dinner, and walked to where his fellow captains were waiting.

Unohana, Kyouraku and Ukitake looked up when he entered the room. Unohana stood up and gave him a slightly murderous look before speaking. "Yamada Hanatarou, my 7th seat has returned. He was badly injured and hasn't spoken about what has happened." Byakuya gave her his coldest I-don't-care-look before answering. "Unohana-taicho, I'm afraid that is none of my business. I sent him to the fourth squad barracks after his work was done, and what happened to him afterwards was not my responsibility." Unohana turned her gaze towards the window, choosing to ignore Byakuya to the fullest.

Kyouraku spoke up next. "Heey, Byakuya-kun, what was wrong with ya at the meeting ? You looked a bit down if ya ask me." Ukitake immediately joined in the conversation, making it impossible for Byakuya to reply. "Yes, as Kyouraku said, you looked very unhealthy, bordering to suicidal if you ask me. And we just came here to ask this; is anything wrong ?" Byakuya's cold gaze levelled up at this statement, and Ukitake froze on the spot.

"I. am . Fine. Please leave, I have a lot of catching up to do." With that, the captains left him alone.

Life went on, as if it'd never been interrupted.

**IT'S DONE ! FINALLY ! I AM SAVED ! YES YES YES !!!**

**Please review or I die from tiredness.....**

**~Lanny**


	8. Chapter 8

**This one is shorter than usual, because I have had a lot of stuff to do lately . I am not really satisfied with this chapter, but hey, at least it has a lemon that doesn't have rape in it. Yes. I have written a lemon. A LEMON. Again for the people who didn't catch it; A LEMON !!**

Hanatarou's POV

Hanatarou let out a sigh as he carefully carried the huge pile of paperwork. Life had just continued like nothing had happened. True, he no longer got molested or abused by other Shinigami, but still, Hanatarou felt as if he was missing something. Unohana no longer gave him tasks that involved the 6th squad, and Hanatarou was too shy to ask for it. When had he gotten to the point of asking for chores ?

He opened the door to Unohana's office. "Uuh, Unohana-taicho, I finished the paperwork you gave me, i-is there anything else I could do for you ?" Unohana looked up from her work and gave him a warm smile. "Ah, no Hanatarou, you have done very well, you may have the rest of the day off." Hanatarou bowed and left the office. It had been several weeks since the incident. Unohana had taken him under protection as soon as she had figured out what had happened, and everyone left him alone.

He sat down in front of the barracks. There was nothing to do. Now that he got the easier chores and was under Unohana's protection, he had no punishments he should carry out. He still had nightmares about what had happened, but there were pleasant dreams too, even though they did not occur as often as the nightmares. Hanatarou let out a sigh. It was boring. He had no real friends to hang out with, besides, he was the only one with free time on his hands anyway.

He stood up and stretched his back. "I think I'll go for a walk…" When had talking to himself become a habit ? Probably during the time he had been locked up in Byakuya's bedroom for several days. Hanatarou sighed again and kicked away a stone at his foot, watching it rolling away. He hadn't seen Byakuya at all. Somehow it bothered him. It was guilt. Hanatarou clearly remembered the last day he had seen Byakuya. Hair messy, clothes dirty and on the brink of committing suicide.

Byakuya had surely gone through a lot just for someone like him. "And I haven't even thanked him…." Hanatarou sighed and stopped walking. He'd never be at ease until he had apologised to him properly, but he also knew that man was probably not waiting for a klutz like Hanatarou to visit…. What had the captain meant with that kiss from before ? Was it sexual frustration ? Or was it deeper ? Hanatarou shook his head, there was no way a captain would feel like that about someone like him. Right ?

Hanatarou wasn't sure what he felt for Byakuya. He hadn't lied when he had told Byakuya that he was interested, but to say he had felt true love ? That was just going to far, Hanatarou was still very shaken with the entire happening, and he felt nervous about seeing the captain again. What if he would be taken advantage of again ? Byakuya had made it very clear that he liked Hanatarou, why else would he have kissed him ? Hanatarou stared at his feet and kept walking, trying to ignore the nausea bubbling up from his stomach.

Before he knew it, he was in front of the 6th captain's office. Now all he had to do was knock, thank him, and leave. Come on. It wasn't that hard now… Knock… Do it Hanatarou ! Knock ! Hanatarou gathered all his courage, took a deep breath and raised his fist to knock on the door. He never had a chance as the thing slammed right into his face.

"Ack !!" Hanatarou rubbed his nose, checking if it was broken, before staring up at the one who had slammed a door in his face. Byakuya. The captain's expression changed for a tiny moment before pulling back into a stoic mask. But Hanatarou had seen it and it shocked him. Was that….pain ? "Yamada Hanatarou, return to your squad's barracks immediately." Hanatarou cringed at the cold tone, he had forgotten how frightening this man actually was. "I…I just came t-to thank you… Kuchiki-sama." Hanatarou jumped up and made a short bow. Then he waited. It was quiet for a moment, and suddenly the door in front of him slammed shut with a loud bang, causing Hanatarou to bounce at the sudden noise.

"A-ah !! I'm terribly sorry Kuchiki-sama ! Please open the door, I want to talk a-about what happened…" After a short while the door opened again and Byakuya stepped out, rushing past Hanatarou, once again making Hanatarou fall to the ground. Hanatarou scrambled to his feet and ran after the captain. "W-wait Kuchiki-tai-taicho !" Byakuya turned around and gave Hanatarou a cold look. "7th seat Hanatarou, I am working. Do NOT bother me when I am working. If you feel the need to visit me, do it when I am not at work." With that, Byakuya turned around again and walked away, leaving Hanatarou alone.

Hanatarou shuddered slightly and decided he shouldn't push his luck any further, the 6th squad captain wasn't someone to mess with, that was for sure. When Hanatarou returned to the 4th squad barracks, he knocked on Unohana's door. "A-ano… Unohana-taicho ? I was just wondering, when do captains h-have free time ?" Unohana gave him a warm smile as she looked up from her paperwork.

"We all have the night off, unless we decide to do some extra work. I am currently a bit busy Hanatarou, I'd love to answer more of your questions, but right now I need to finish this report." Hanatarou nodded and left the room.

So, the captains had every night off unless they decided to do extra work ? "I better take a nap or I'll be too tired when I visit Kuchiki-taicho in the night…" Hanatarou laid down, contemplated what he should say when he arrived. For some reason, just thanking Byakuya hadn't felt satisfying. Byakuya still looked so sad. Hanatarou sighed and rolled over in his bed. He wanted Byakuya to be happy. Yes. That is what he wanted. He cared about the stoic man. He had only known the man for several days, but Hanatarou had learned a lot.

Byakuya had considered committing suicide, because he could not bring himself to kill Hanatarou, he had said so himself. Byakuya was attracted to him, yet he hadn't tried to rape or harass Hanatarou when he was imprisoned. "I believe he is a good man." Kuchiki Byakuya was breaking from the inside out, and Hanatarou wanted to prevent it at all costs. In the short moment that Byakuya had let his mask slip, Hanatarou had seen so much emotion bottled up. Why let him suffer if he could help ? It was the duty of a medic wasn't it ?

And on top of it…. "I think I might fall in love with him….."

Byakuya's POV

Knowing that I would never have Hanatarou felt as if I had lost Hisane for a second time. Byakuya felt like a walking corpse. After Hisane's death he had felt like a walking corpse too, but seeing Hanatarou had revived him temporarily, but now it felt even worse. When he had said goodbye to the boy and ignored his emotions, he thought it had been the last time he'd see the boy. So when he opened the door and was met by Hanatarou sprawled out on his back in a very suggestive position, he was more than surprised. He was stunned. For a moment, he was unable to move, staring at the young boy lying in front of him.

For a split moment, his mask had slipped. He wanted the boy so bad, wanted to live again, wanted a reason to breathe. His heart felt as if it was ripped apart in his chest as he realized he would never be able to hold Hanatarou. He would spend the rest of his life alone, longing for the impossible. He forced himself to speak, feeling slightly sick. When Hanatarou bowed and spoke, Byakuya couldn't control his nausea. He slammed the door and doubled over, trying his best not to puke in his office.

"A-ah !! I'm terribly sorry Kuchiki-sama ! Please open the door, I want to talk a-about what happened…" Byakuya rubbed his temples and straightened his back before opening the door. He practically ran out of the office, feeling a bit guilty as he heard a small thump, signalling that Hanatarou had fallen. He walked faster as he heard that the boy was running after him, but he couldn't bring himself to using shunpo. There was only one way to get rid of Hanatarou right now. "7th seat Yamada Hanatarou, I am working. Do NOT bother me when I am working. If you feel the need to visit me, do it when I am not at work."

That should keep him away. Why was Hanatarou visiting him anyway ? Byakuya sighed as he walked through the 6th squad barracks without an apparent reason. Byakuya had given Renji some time off, so Byakuya had lots of paperwork to do, but he couldn't go back to his office, not when Hanatarou was around. Why was that boy torturing him like this ? He stood still, wondering what he should do now. He shunpo'd back to his office, checking for Hanatarou's reiatsu. He was relieved to see his office deserted and he sat down at his desk. The work was tedious, and Byakuya's mind began wandering, like it always did during boring paperwork.

His fantasy was quite large for someone as quiet and stoic as Byakuya. While he signed a paper about restocking toilet paper, his fantasy took him into a different universe. One in which he had Hanatarou cornered in his office and pushed him down on the desk, not caring if the papers got smudgy. Then he would move his hands all over the writhing body beneath him, listening to the pleasured moans and screams as he undid Hanatarou's pants……

"Hmmm….Ah…" Byakuya slapped a hand in front of his mouth, embarrassed by the sudden moan that he had uttered. He shook his head and ignored his hard on as he continued to sign papers. He skipped lunch and dinner, still working. He felt afraid that Hanatarou might come and visit him in his manor, but on the other hand, he wanted nothing more than spending more time with Hanatarou. But he'd only be kidding himself and be hurt in the end.

He walked to the cupboard that was located in his office. It was stuffed with tealeaves and other stuff that might come in handy. Byakuya dug into the messy cupboard and shoved everything out until he found what he was looking for. Sake. It was sad really, he was going from one sin to another. He felt a bit disgusted of himself, but he got rid of it by taking an extra big gulp of Sake. Getting drunk wasn't his style usually, but when it came to forgetting, he was an addict. It had been hard enough to quit after Hisane's death, and now it was starting again.

_I really am I weak bastard. Physical power is nothing when compared to mental power, and I have no power left at all. _He was lying to himself for a bit, wallowing in self-pity was nice once in a while. He lifted the sake bottle to his lips again, spilling most of the sake all over his chest. "Dammit…."

Suddenly a knock on his door woke him from his thoughts. It had gotten darker outside, and Byakuya wondered who would be visiting him this late. He didn't have to wonder very long as the visitor knocked again and called out. "A-ano, Kuchiki-taicho ? I know you are in there, y-your servants told me y-you were still working. P-please let me in now." Byakuya got up quickly, hopped to the door and pulled it open, intending to send Hanatarou away immediately using the same excuse as before. But as he opened the door the words died in his throat and he found himself staring again.

Hanatarou was slightly flushed and a few drops of sweat trickled down his forehead. He wasn't wearing the traditional Shinigami outfit, but a short shirt and loose pants that almost fell off his small hips. Byakuya's fantasy ran wild and he had to use all his self-control to keep his little friend from rising. _How sad this is. Has my sexual frustration risen to this point already ? _

"Uhm… C-can I come in please ?" Byakuya wanted to say no, wanted to push the boy away, but instead he stepped back and invited Hanatarou in without saying a word. He gestured towards a pillow in the middle of the office and tried to prevent himself from staring as Hanatarou sat down. Byakuya shakily walked towards the cupboard and grabbed some water and another bottle of Sake. He'd be needing it. He took a quick gulp before turning around. "So…whaddid ya wanna talkkabout h-hicc- huh ?" Okay, it was official now, he had had way too much sake. Hanatarou seemed to think so too as he furrowed his eyebrows and gave Byakuya a scrutinizing look.

"Kuchiki-taicho, are you drunk ?! I smell alcohol ! You should lie down immediately!" Hanatarou got up immediately and grabbed Byakuya by his arm. Byakuya felt a blush creeping up and he stumbled over his own feet, pulled Hanatarou with him to the floor. He was now on top of Hanatarou and he buried his nose in the younger mans clothes, letting out a small moan at the nice scent. "K-k-kuchiki-taicho !! What are you m-ahh !!!" Byakuya licked Hanatarou's neck, nibbling on the sensitive skin. "Ah ! Ahh !! G-get off ! Please ! Kuchi-AAHH!" Byakuya didn't pay attention to Hanatarou's attempt to push him off and kept placing small kisses on Hanatarou's neck. He moved his hips against Hanatarou's, and let out a moan as he ground his erection against Hanatarou.

"Aahh……uhh…..mmm…" Hanatarou was no longer struggling and was now openly participating in their lovemaking, kissing Byakuya right on the mouth. Byakuya took his chance and slipped him tongue inside, savouring Hanatarou's unique taste as he continued to undress the younger man.

He pulled Hanatarou's pants down, leaving them at the knees, and began licking his way all the way down, stopping for a moment to swirl his tongue around Hanatarou's nipples. He didn't waste too much time on foreplay, and began to stroke Hanatarou's erection softly, loving the small sounds Hanatarou made as he squirmed. He placed three of his fingers against Hanatarou's lips and spoke in a husky voice; "Suck on them." Hanatarou obediently sucked in the three fingers and coated them in saliva.

Byakuya groaned as he took in the sight in front of him, Hanatarou was all sprawled out beneath him, sucking on his fingers. He looked so fuckable that Byakuya almost couldn't control himself. Byakuya pulled back his fingers and placed his index finger at Hanatarou's entrance. For a moment he stopped and looked at Hanatarou, silently asking for permission.

Hanatarou took a shuddering breath, but nodded anyway and clenched his eyes shut as Byakuya pushed in the first finger. Byakuya slowly fingered Hanatarou, trying not to overwhelm the younger man. As Hanatarou's sounds of discomfort slowly changed to sounds of pleasure, Byakuya added a second finger and started scissoring Hanatarou's tight opening. Hanatarou moaned and spread his legs a little wider, obviously loving the turn of events. Byakuya tried to keep himself from fucking Hanatarou right at that moment, and pushed in a third finger, a bit startled when Hanatarou stifled a cry and tensed up.

"Did… I hurt you ?" Hanatarou kept his eyes shut and let out a shaky breath before answering softly. "N-no, It's j-just…It's unusual…. I need to get used t-to the feeling of-ah !!" Hanatarou bucked his hips and squirmed beneath Byakuya. "Oh, ah…. T-that was so…so good… Please, please do that again ! Hmmm ahhh !!" Byakuya, encouraged by this display of pleasure, began moving his fingers again. Hanatarou let out a long stretched moan when Byakuya stroked a certain place inside of Hanatarou.

"Aahh ! Ahh ! S-stop Kuchiki-tai-taicho ! Or I'll….I'll cum !" Byakuya stopped moving and watched Hanatarou as he caught his breath. After a short moment, Hanatarou moved again, and grabbed Byakuya's wrist, pulling his fingers out of him. Hanatarou spread his legs wide and stretched his asshole with his fingers. Byakuya pushed his pants down and freed his erection, pushing it's head against Hanatarou's tight entrance.

"Ackk !! Ouchh !" Byakuya stopped moving and placed a small kiss on Hanatarou's mouth. "Do….do you want to stop?" Hanatarou shook his head and to strengthen his decision, he pushed down on the erection inside of his asshole. Byakuya let out a load groan as he was take deeper and deeper inside Hanatarou. It had been so long since he had sex, way too long. It took him a lot of self control to hold back the enormous orgasm that threatened to explode on the moment that he was fully sheathed inside.

For two minutes, they remained still, Hanatarou shivering slightly and Byakuya whispering words of comfort to the young boy as he waited for permission to go on. Then, Hanatarou gave a small nod signalling that Byakuya could proceed. Byakuya pulled back slowly and pushed back in, moaning loudly as the tight hole clenched around him. Hanatarou squirmed beneath him, raking his nails over Byakuya's back and biting in his shoulder. "Ahh !! Ah ! Yes !! Do…..it harder ! Do it harder ! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes eyyeeeeessss!! Aahhhhh!!" Hanatarou bucked his hips and sprayed his cum all over Byakuya's chest and the floor beneath them. Byakuya gasped as Hanatarou's tight entrance clenched around him, and he came with a low groan.

He laid on top of Hanatarou, sneaking his arms around his uke's waist and pulling him closer. "I love you Hana…. I really doo……"

_It's been a while since I had such a realistic dream…_

**This is NOT the last chapter, there will come a next chapter, and I will probably add two extra Alternate endings. ( Original endings that made me puke, so I erased them.) **

**THIS WAS MY FIRST LEMON ! Anything to say about it ? I'd love to hear it ! Next friday is the next update as always ! Sorry for the terrible lateness today.**

**Lanny-Sama **


	9. Chapter 9

**AWEFUL DELAYNESS ! I still apologise for that. I really am sorry for doing something as horrendous as that ! **

**Mehh..... This is the official end people. Last chapter. But do not fear ! I have two alternate endings ! ( Even though both them end in horrible misery.) I will post them within four weeks. So For chapter 10 I will take two weeks and for chapter 11 too. Please bear with me, but the Alternate endings aren't that great. I mean... Story's over right ? Oh well. Enjoy chapter 9. **

Hanatarou's POV

When Hanatarou woke up the next morning, the sun was barely rising above the horizon. It was early for most people, but not for Hanatarou, his chores started around 6 o clock ! But for now, chores were the last thing of Hanatarou's mind.

_I can't believe I let myself go like that…_Hanatarou blushed as he watched Byakuya sleeping naked next to him. "How….did I get into this ?" He shook his head as he remembered last night. Even though he had accused Byakuya from drinking, he had taken a few shots himself. He had expected something like this …. Right ? I mean, he went there in the night, drinking a few shots to get rid of the nervousness….. Wait a second, that didn't prove anything at all !

A small groan took his attention to the man laying on his chest, his arms wrapped around Hanatarou's waist. Byakuya. Hanatarou laid his hand over the captain's forehead and stroked away some of the messy hair. The smell of alcohol was still in the air, not forgetting the smell of their ….. could you call it lovemaking ? Hanatarou hoped so, he liked this man, more than a friend actually…..

Hanatarou shivered as he softly moved Byakuya off himself, not used to sleeping naked and covered in white…... He didn't even want to think about what was currently dripping from his chest. Hanatarou stood up and let out a small squeak when he felt some cum dripping down his legs. His ass was sore, but not as bad as the time that he had been raped….. He had been surprised at how easily he had accepted Byakuya inside of him. He had expected to feel that horrible burning again, combined with humiliation, tears and panic. But instead, it had felt…. Good… _I guess that is probably what real sex is like…_

He grabbed Byakuya's Haori and laid it over him. He really needed a shower. A realy long hot shower. Hanatarou looked around, looking for his clothes in the horrible mess that had once been an office. Hanatarou quickly gathered his clothes and put them on quickly, not wanting someone to walk in on him. He turned around to take a look at Byakuya, not sure if he should just leave like that. He sighed and grabbed some paper from the floor.

_Kuchiki-taicho, I…._ Hanatarou stared at the three words, before crumpling up the paper and leaving the office. Writing a note ? Really ? What was he thinking ? Byakuya wouldn't miss him when he woke up… Hanatarou had been wondering for a while if Byakuya was just using him, after all, love confessions from a wasted and drunk Captain weren't exactly….reliable… But Hanatarou hoped they were true. He hoped.

He opened the door to his small room, immediately going into the bathroom to clean himself up. "Eww!" He threw his clothes in a small corner, he'd have to wash them tomorrow. Unohana had only given him one day off, so Hanatarou rushed to switch into his Shinigami robe. He was already later than usual. He entered Unohana's office, only to find it empty. How strange…. Normally his captain would be in her office by now…. He turned around and decided to ask some of the other 4th squad members about her location, but the 4th squad barracks were deserted.

It was unusually quiet in Seireitei, and Hanatarou felt the sudden urge to hide under the blankets of his bed when a flock of crows scared him out of his wits. Hanatarou was sure he had somehow ended up in an alternate universe, until he bumped into a door. "Uckk !!" Hanatarou rubbed his forehead and checked for a bruise, looking at the door. "B-but that door is s-supposed to be open! It's only closed when it's……weekend…. Ahhw !" Hanatarou slammed his hand against his forehead.

"I guess I could go back to Byakuya-taicho…. I never really wanted to leave him like that…. Besides, I need an explanation." Hanatarou turned around and went to the 6th squad barracks. When he entered the office, Byakuya was still out cold, his hair a huge mess and his haori still draped over his naked body. "Aww….Never thought I'd say this, but he looks kind of…..cute…." Hanatarou sat besides Byakuya and brushed a few strands of hair aside before landing a small kiss on Byakuya's lips.

For a short moment, Hanatarou sat next to the sleeping captain, but the messy surroundings were annoying him. So he started cleaning. "I can't believe how much we threw over last night…." Hanatarou mumbled as he pushed the wooden desk back on it's place while being as quiet as possible. "I should probably get something for his hangover….." Hanatarou stood up, stretched for a short moment, and stepped over Byakuya, intending to go to his room in the 4th squad barracks to get something against a hangover. But as he stepped over Byakuya, a strong hand clasped around his ankle and threw him down on the ground.

Hanatarou let out a yelp as Byakuya pushed him down onto the ground. "Attacking me in my sleep is not enough to kill me you-….. Hanatarou ? What are you doing in my room ?!" The pressure on his back disappeared and Hanatarou got up and dusted himself off. "My head is killing me…. Why ….am I in my office ?...and…... Why am I naked ?!" Hanatarou blushed at the sight in front of him, and needed to mentally slap himself in the face before he was able to avert his gaze from the naked man in front of him.

Byakuya didn't look very well, his face was a slight green, and he was wobbling on his feet. "I think I'm going to puke…." Right after he had said the sentence, he hunched over and slapped his hand over his mouth. Hanatarou sat down behind Byakuya and softly rubbed the mans back, hoping that it would distract Byakuya enough so he wouldn't puke.

"What….happened last night….?" Byakuya seemed dazed as he stared blankly around the room. "Why am I…..naked in my office ?" Hanatarou furrowed his eyebrows. _He doesn't remember ?... Should I tell him ?...... I don't know… _"Well….Kuchiki-taicho…. L-last night, I c-came to c-c-check up on y-you, a-and you were d-drunk, a-and y-you tackled me to t-the ground….. A-and….t-took my c-clothes off…." Hanatarou tried to keep his hands from shaking, still massaging the captains back softly. Talking about what had happened suddenly made it so real ! So…. Realistic… He was about to go on,but before he could continue, Byakuya turned around and stared at Hanatarou with a horrified expression on his face.

"Don't…..don't tell me….. Please…. Oh no…. Oh no….." Byakuya looked utterly desperate. He slammed his fist to the floor and stared at it. "I………I…… I c-can't believe it….." Hanatarou stared at the captain, paralyzed in confusion. " I raped you." Hanatarou cocked his head, not knowing if he should burst out in laughter or not. He decided to play dumb.

"What ? What are you talking about ?" Hanatarou let out a nervous laugh as he waved his hand a bit, trying to emphasize his words. Byakuya gave him a blank look, before his face was flooded with relief. "I didn't ? I didn't ? Oh thank god……" Byakuya fell back on the floor, covering his eyes with his hand.

Hanatarou felt a little jolt of anger, and before he knew it, he blurted out his thoughts. "You mean I'm not good enough to be fucked by you ?" Byakuya gaped at him like a fish, and Hanatarou turned a bright crimson as he realized what he'd just said. "Wha-….." Byakuya looked as if he was trying to answer, his mouth opening and closing like a fish on dry land.

It was eerily silent as the two of them tried to think of something to say. Byakuya was the one to break the silence….. " I fucked you….. And you….liked it ?..." He sounded as if he didn't believe it himself. Hanatarou turned even redder at that, and he stared at the floor in embarrassment before answering. "W-well…. Y-yes I did…." Byakuya stared at the wall. "Am I…..dreaming ?" Hanatarou nervously laughed and shook his head shyly.

"Uhmm… N-no Kuchiki-taicho, you're n-not dreaming…" Byakuya looked straight into Hanatarou's eyes, and Hanatarou felt the old feeling of cold ice ripping through his flesh again when he looked into the grey irises. Byakuya seemed to be confused, and he furrowed his eyebrows at Hanatarou. "You liked it……Then…. You will not mind this." Before Hanatarou had an idea of what was happening Byakuya was once again on top of him, his lips sealed onto Hanatarou's. Hanatarou stayed motionless for a small moment, before kissing back with all the force he had.

Byakuya was still naked, and Hanatarou blushed when he noticed Byakuya's half erect member. Byakuya broke the kiss for a small moment to run his tongue over Hanatarou's neck and to sink his teeth into Hanatarou's shoulder. Hanatarou made a small jerky movement and let out a startled gasp. For a small moment, the pain from being raped was fresh in his memory and he let out a yelp as he tried to push Byakuya away. Byakuya let him go immediately and stared at him. "W-what's wrong ? Y-you said you liked it right ? Were you lying ?" Hanatarou sat up and took a few deep breaths as he tried to calm himself down.

"I….I…… Please…. Don't …. Pain reminds me ….of…. of….." Hanatarou felt a tear trailing over his cheek. The rape had left a deeper impact than he had thought. Just a small bite in his neck was enough to freak him out !! He started sobbing and hugged his knees in an attempt to feel more at ease. Byakuya slowly came closer and laid his arms around Hanatarou's shoulders. Hanatarou immediately wrapped his arms around the bigger man and sobbed against the muscular chest.

Byakuya slowly and awkwardly combed his fingers through Hanatarou's hair, trying to think of something that would calm Hanatarou down. After some minutes, Hanatarou's sobs subsided and Hanatarou released Byakuya and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "I-I'm sorry… I just…. I freaked out… That b-bite… it reminded me….. o-o-of…." Hanatarou hiccupped. Byakuya laid his hand against Hanatarou's cheek and wiped away the tear-trails that were still there. Then, he leaned forward and placed a soft and gentle kiss on Hanatarou's lips. When he pulled away, Hanatarou gave him an apologising look.

"Kuchiki-taicho, I- I am very sorry f-for what I j-just did…." Byakuya shook his head and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Hanatarou. I was the one at fault. I'm sorry .... I didn't know what it would do to you… I didn't think straight….. Let's just go to my mansion and talk." Hanatarou gave him a surprised look. Byakuya stood up and looked around for his clothes, to find them neatly folded on his desk. He began dressing, ignoring his morning arousal as much as he could. He'd have to wait. Hanatarou's feeling were more important than lust.

"T-t-talk ?....." Hanatarou hadn't expected something like this. Not at all. Byakuya didn't seem like a person to talk at all ! Hanatarou had expected to be some sort of……actually….. what had he been expecting ? To be the captain's whore or something ? Only to be used for sexual pleasure ? At that thought, he blushed again. Byakuya had finished dressing himself, and was now trying to comb his hair with his fingers. "I look like a savage." Hanatarou giggled quietly at that. It was true, Byakuya looked as if he had been living in the wild for about a week, his clothes messy and stains on them from spilled sake, his hair one big knot and bags under his eyes.

"N-no one will see it, everyone is s-still asleep. It's Saturday." Byakuya stepped out of his office, and Hanatarou followed like a puppy. "Why were you up this early ?" Hanatarou let out a nervous laugh once again before answering. "I…forgot it was Saturday, so… I went to my taicho to receive my chores for the day, but she was not there. Then I ran into a closed door and realized that it was Sunday…. So I came back." Byakuya opened the door and shooed all the servants away when they cam running with all kinds of food and water.

"Kuchiki-sama, we were worried when you did not return, are you ok-" Byakuya cut him off rather sharply, and Hanatarou flinched at the slight anger in the suddenly cold voice. "Bring breakfast to my room, do not enter and leave it in front of the door. Do NOT bother me unless Seireitei is under attack." He walked on, grabbing Hanatarou's sleeve and dragging him along. He walked into a room. It wasn't the same room as the one Hanatarou had been locked up in, but he recognized the big bed.

"Please sit down, Hanatarou. What would you like for breakfast ?" Hanatarou was about to say he wasn't hungry when his stomach let out something similar to a roar. "Ah….uhmm…. Just some rice I guess….. And…. Prawns maybe ?" Byakuya gave a short nod and walked out, giving orders to a few servants and closing the door behind him. Hanatarou was left alone in the suddenly very quiet room. Hanatarou again had that uneasy feeling that he had always had when he saw the 6th squad captain. Maybe it was the cold expression that graces the man's face, or his voice that felt like a dagger of ice, or the look in his eyes that made him want to crawl away.

Hanatarou had almost forgotten who this man was. A Captain, a noble, and a very scary person ! But maybe that just wasn't Byakuya after all… The Byakuya Hanatarou liked was a lonely, proud, warm and serious man. Not the cold and stoic person he was pretending to be. Hanatarou sat down on the bed and took off his shoes, Byakuya had dragged him all the way to this room, and Hanatarou felt that it was impolite to keep his shoes on. He laid back on the bed and grabbed the covers. "Hmmm… I forgot how soft they were…" He twisted around, wrapping himself in the ultra-soft blankets, Byakuya's smell only making it more enjoyable.

Suddenly a voice next to the bed spoke up. "Enjoying yourself?" Hanatarou let out a started yelp, and fell off the bed, tangled up in the soft sheets. "A-ah ! Kuchiki-taicho ! D-don't scare me l-like that !" Hanatarou wriggled out of the blankets, making sure not to rip them. "Please call me Byakuya." Hanatarou threw the last blanket off of him and nodded. "Yea…. Wh…why not….. Bya…Byakuya…." He averted his gaze and he could once again feel a blush creeping up to his face. _Damn it… Even girls don't blush as much as I do… _Suddenly something pressed at his lips, and for a moment, Hanatarou thought he was being kissed again, but as he looked up to see what was going on, he found Byakuya holding a prawn against his lips.

The pressure increased and Hanatarou opened his mouth to take the prawn inside. Hanatarou chewed and quickly opened his mouth, clearly wanting another bite. Byakuya obliged and put in another prawn, his fingertips brushing over Hanatarou's lips. "Do you like prawns with sauce ?" Hanatarou nodded, quickly swallowing the prawn so he could receive the next one.

Byakuya grabbed the next prawn and dipped it into a cup of soy sauce, pushing it beneath the surface and covering his fingers in soy sauce. "Open up." Hanatarou opened his mouth and took the prawn inside, but just when he was about to close his mouth, three of Byakuya's fingers pushed a into his mouth. They stayed motionless for a split second before Byakuya spoke up. "Hanatarou, my fingers are covered in soy sauce, and I don't want to dirty the sheets. Would you mind cleaning my fingers ?" Hanatarou turned a very bright colour of red and pulled back. "W-wait…. Prawn…"

Hanatarou quickly swallowed the prawn, almost choking on it, and took Byakuya's fingers in his mouth again. He knew that Byakuya was asking for more than just cleaning his fingers, and Hanatarou had a pretty good idea of what Byakuya wanted. Hanatarou concentrated on the three fingers in his mouth, rolling his tongue around the digits and making sure not to bite down accidentally.

When he had cleaned the fingers thoroughly, Hanatarou decided to take the initiative. With a shy look on his face, he pushed Byakuya onto the bed and opened the captain's shirt. He began to run his tongue over Byakuya's chest, starting at the neck and slowly moving downwards. Byakuya didn't make a sound, but Hanatarou could tell he was enjoying it, the erection pressing against him was evidence enough. He soon felt fingers tangling in his hair and trying to push him lower. Part of him wanted to fight, tease Byakuya, but he gave in, feeling that the captain was not in the mood to be teased.

He lowered to Byakuya's hipbone, making sure not to touch the hard erection just a few inches lower. Then he ghosted his fingers over cock in front of him, feeling a bit ashamed for his whore-like behaviour. Then, without a warning, he took Byakuya's erection in his mouth. All the way down to the balls. That was the moment when Byakuya made a sound. And a loud one at that. Byakuya's hands clenched in his hair, pushing him down on the erection. Hanatarou felt legs wrapping over his back, trying to push him even closer.

Being raped had really helped getting over that gag reflex. He swallowed around the huge dick in his mouth and Byakuya let out a loud moan and threw back his head. "Aahhh…. That is good…." Hanatarou slowly pulled back and licked over the tip of Byakuya's cock.

It didn't take long before Byakuya finished with a small groan. Hanatarou swallowed the cum quickly, not really fond of the weird taste. Byakuya was taking long and relaxed breaths and Hanatarou wiped his mouth. Byakuya grabbed Hanatarou's Shinigami robe at the back and pulled him against his body to kiss him. Hanatarou kissed back slowly, but he pulled away as Byakuya snuck his hand into Hanatarou's pants. "I-I'm sorry Kuchi-…..Byakuya… I…. I'm still too sore from….from…. yesterday…." Hanatarou shyly climbed off Byakuya and hoisted up his pants again. Byakuya sighed, but he let it go and pulled his pants back up.

"Uhmm… can I eat the rest of the prawns ? I….am still very hungry…." Byakuya sat up and gave a tiny smile. "Of course, I brought them over for you." Hanatarou began shovelling them into his mouth, eager to get rid of the taste of cum. Suddenly Byakuya let out a small chuckle. "Hehe.... We didn't talk at all now did we ?" Hanatarou gave a small noise as answer to that question as he kept stuffing his mouth with prawns.

Byakuya stood up and went to the bathroom. "I'm going to clean myself up. I'll be back in about ten minutes, then we shall talk." Hanatarou nodded as he still rummaged through the food in the search for more prawns. After ten minutes, all the plates were clean, only a bit of rice remained, and a prawn that he had accidentally sat on. Byakuya returned, his hair damp from the shower he had just taken, and a towel around his waist. Byakuya walked towards the closet and dropped the towel.

He chuckled when Hanatarou averted his gaze with a bright blush. "Hanatarou, don't tell me you are shy about seeing me naked?" Hanatarou shook his head fiercely. "Ah ! No ! I…just…. It's so strange…. You are such a prestigious man… and… Seeing y-you naked feels …. A bit wrong…." Byakuya laughed and put on an old Shinigami robe.

"Hey… .Hanatarou. You like me right ?" Hanatarou was quiet for a small moment. He was still unsure if it could turn to true love, but…..Hanatarou liked Byakuya, quite a lot actually. "Y-yes…. Yes I do…. Byakuya…. You went through a lot of trouble to protect me from harm, even thought I viewed you as the villain. I'm still sorry about that..." Byakuya sat next to Hanatarou and folded his hands.

"I did not protect you well enough. I should have handed you over to Unohana after the incident. I kept you locked up in my house for my own selfish needs. I let you live in fear for days, only because I was too selfish to choose the best option for you !" Byakuya bowed his head an exhaled slowly.

"N-no ! Byakuya ! You chose the best thing for me on the long term. That incident left a huge gaping wound in my soul, but you stitched it up and made sure it would not infected ! To me, you couldn't have made a better choice. Now everyone is h-happy… right ? We have each other, and we are both happier than before." Hanatarou gave Byakuya a fierce look and looked him straight in the eyes. "I really like you."

Byakuya's eyes had lost their cold gleam, and now Hanatarou could see the true warmth that flowed beneath the icy mask. Never before had Byakuya willingly opened up this much when it came to showing emotions. "You don't blame me ? After all I did ?....." Hanatarou frowned and huffed. "Don't go on and on about what you did ! I told you ! I don't care ! I like you ! And I …..want to….be around yo-you…." Hanatarou's strength left him as soon as it had gotten to him.

Byakuya smiled again, this time the smile reached his eyes, making it seem like a fire was glowing behind the grey orbs. And then they kissed again, slowly and gentle, tongue's barely brushing in the soft kiss. When he broke apart, Hanatarou laid his head against Byakuya's chest.

"I might even love you."

**HATE the ending. HATE it. HATE this story. Good thing I finished it before I decided to flush it down the toilet. Oh well, hope you enjoyed it and look forward to the alternate endings !!**

**~Lanny**


	10. Chapter 10 ALTERNATE ENDING 1

**Okay…. This is the alternate ending. It is shorter that I could've been, but I didn't feel like ending it this way. Stupidly enough, I don't remember when I wrote this. I think it was between chapter 5 or 6…. I'm not sure though. **

**ONE last Alternate ending after this one. I will again take two weeks to do the next not-worth-the-wait alternate ending. (It is also a sad ending)**

**Around here, Byakuya sees that Hanatarou has escaped from his room, and is contemplating suicide. Hanatarou is found and taken care of in the fourth squad. Read on !**

For a moment, he panicked, the room spinning in front of his eyes. Hanatarou would tell them about what had happened, he would be arrested, if not killed. Still, Byakuya couldn't move himself to run after the boy to bring him back. This would be best for him….right ? He walked Hisane's room and he stared at her portrait. "Hisane… This is best…. For him…. Right ?" He took another moment to look at her portrait, but he no longer felt the painful longing tearing him up from inside. Hisane wasn't the one he missed so desperately anymore.

After a small hesitation, he unsheathed Senbonzakura and stared at it. Would he be able to do it ? The most selfish and egoistic act human kind knew ? He pointed the tip at his throat and closed his eyes, preparing to drive the blade through his head.

Suddenly the door was kicked down and in a flash, Byakuya was restrained, Senbonzakura on the ground. "I'm too late." Byakuya muttered as he watched Kyouraku and Ukitake walk into the room, their hands on the hilts of their zanpaktou. "Kuchiki Byakuya, you are to be take into custody for fourfold murder, abuse and rape. Do not resist or we will be forced to bring you down." Byakuya didn't struggle and just stared at Hisane's portrait while Ukitake spoke.

Fighting now wouldn't do any good, he would never be able to beat two captains in this state, let alone get away after it. He was taken to a prison, Senbonzakura taken away from him and reaitsu cuffs preventing him from moving. His haori was taken away and replaced by a plain white outfit. At last, he was left alone in his stony prison.

"Now I know what Rukia felt like when she was a prisoner.…." Byakuya already felt lonely. And he felt ashamed. Some part of him was relieved that he had been interrupted in his suicide attempt, but another part only wished for the suffering to end as soon as possible.

Hanatarou's POV

"_Ah…look, he's waking up !! UNOHANA-TAICHO !!" _The voices were loud, and his head felt as if someone was slamming a hammer against it every second. When Hanatarou opened his eyes, he was surrounded by a lot of people, and most of them were fourth squad. "Uno….hana…..tai…taicho ?" Hanatarou was frightened by the sound of his own voice. It sounded like he had been screaming on the top of his lungs of hours ! He tried to get up, feeling disorientated and scared. "Wh- ere …a..m I ??" Suddenly Unohana appeared and she put her hands on his cheeks.

"Hanatarou. I am sorry. I have not fulfilled my duty as a captain. I never should've let this happen." Hanatarou stared at her face in disbelief. "Wha-….what are y-" Suddenly his head spun, and he hunched over, puking all over the bed and barely missing Unohana. Right after that, he started coughing uncontrollably, feeling a warm liquid drip from his lips. Blood ?.....

Pain wrecked his head, making him want to tear off his own head only to get rid of the horrible headache that was assaulting him all of a sudden. Just as sudden as the pain struck, it stopped, leaving Hanatarou heaving on the bed, shivering all over his body. Unohana's palms were glowing green as they were pressed against his temples, soothing his pain. "He has a fever Unohana-taicho, and severe head trauma. It will take a few days to recover completely." Hanatarou barely registered the words as he still tasted his sour stomach juice mixed with blood.

After what seemed like ages, everyone left the room, leaving Hanatarou with his pain and thoughts. His head was still fuzzy, and his heart was still beating like crazy in his chest. Was he safe ? What had just happened ? He turned his head and felt his stomach churn as the whole room spun before his eyes. With a splattering noise he vomited on the floor next to his bed.

Before he could do as much as turn over on his back again, he fell asleep. He often woke, confused and scared, not able to decipher reality from dream. Very often he would trash around, convinced that he was still in danger of being abused.

It took him two days before he was able to think clearly. Unohana-taicho visited him every day, often making room in her busy schedule to take care of him. On one side, Hanatarou felt happy that she cared for him this much, but he also knew, it was mostly Unohana's guilt that made her come by every day. Now that his head was clear, he began wondering. "Unohana-taicho… What has happened to Kuchiki-taicho?" To his surprise, a slightly sad smile found it's way to Unohana's lips. "He will be executed. Today is his execution." Hanatarou froze for a moment. "W-…..what ?..... Exe……cuted ??" HE was completely flabbergasted. Executed ? Kuchiki-taicho ?

A part of him wanted to stand up and defend the captain. To kill a captain for something like this ? It sounded illogical, but Hanatarou couldn't stop the wave of relief that flooded over him. Never again would he have to fear the captain. Now that everyone knew he had been a rape-victim, Unoahana would protect him from any more assaults. Only Kuchiki-taicho could've been a threat, but now Hanatarou would be free.

He forced himself not to return Unohana's smile as he sat back in his pillows with a small sigh. But he needed to be sure. "U-unohana….taicho ? ….. Could you… take me to see the execution ?" Unohana gave him a small nod. "You, as the victim, are allowed to see his execution. I had already suspected this. There's a wheelchair outside. Let us go immediately."

When they reached the execution grounds, Hanatarou wasn't sure about his decision anymore. The captain's and their Vice-captains were lined up in complete silence, Kuchiki Byakuya and Abarai Renji the only ones missing. In the middle of the execution grounds was a heap of ragged clothes and black tangled hair. Hanatarou looked around in confusing, not recognizing the heap of old rags as Kuchiki Byakuya.

Only when Genryuusai moved forward to execute the once se powerful captain, he recognized Byakuya. He looked lifeless, his eyes like endless deep pools of nothing, his face dirty and slightly bloodied. Hanatarou held in his breath as Genryuusai unsheathed his zanpaktou to execute the kneeling man in front of him. Ever since Aizen's betrayal, the original way of executing a Shinigami had been abandoned.

Hanatarou closed his eyes just a fraction too slow. Genryuusai was already sheathing his zanpaktou as Byakuya's body fell forward and thudded to the ground, blood staining the ground.

Hanatarou tried to look away, but somehow, the image of the strong noble, still twitching in a puddle of his own blood, was too intriguing to look away. As Unohana moved his wheelchair, the feeling of guilt began to boil in his insides. Somehow, it hadn't felt like he thought it would. It hadn't felt as a relief, not at all. He felt awful.

As Unohana switched the wheelchair duty with a lower-ranked Shinigami, Hanatarou couldn't stop the tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Why ….. d-do I feel so….. g-guilty……….."

**As you can see. This ending SUCKED. It SUCKED BALLS !! And I did not like it. It was the original ending though, but I had NO idea of how to finish it properly. Even the ending I though up just now is NOT satisfying at all. This was very short, and I know it probably wasn't worth the two weeks of waiting time, but I hope to make up for that by updating one day earlier. **

**ONE last Alternate ending after this one. **


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